So I have my med biochem final this week and not to brag, but Ima knock this one out of the park!!! Of course, I'll remember not to change ANY answers this time since doing so last exam caused me to go from doing the cabbage patch into my final exam, to doing the moon walk which as you may know, backs you into a space.

What I'd really like to do is to talk a little bit about some of the patients I meet in the clinic but because I value my future in the medical profession, I can't on the level I would like to. I can tell you that after meeting a diabetic Black woman who was 83 years old tell the story of losing her brother and a limb as a young child due to being unable to get treatment for it at the local white hospital (the nearest one that would treat blacks was over 100 miles away), that I had to remove myself from the room after she left to "get myself together". Stories like these about the travesties of living in the Jim Crow South, also make me angry but only for a minute. I know the best thing I can do maintain my composure since and fone day finish med school since anger can suck all the positive action out of you. In the meantime, I'll fight to make sure other people who are interested in providing care to undeserved populations get those opportunities too.

So it's official, I royally SUCK at medical biochemistry!!!

My test was, well lets just say that while med biochem is far from the most difficult class I've ever taken (P-Chem has that spot), my first exam was by far the most difficult exam I've ever had in my entire life!! It was all multiple choice, but often there was more than one right answer. Our job was to pick not the one right answer, but the ONE best answer. My question is, who gets to decide what best is and isn't one of THE most subjective words in the english language?

Before I took the test, I heard from other grad students (all of whom had to retake the class because in grad school, "C's" don't can be used toward degree requirements) that the Biochem dept at my school purposely makes the exams hard. As if that really teaches a person anything other than how to take a test! Excuse me, but taking exams while obviously required to become a physician doesn't help much with patient care as far as I can see. But it's just another one of those hoops that HAVE to be overcome and it's classes like these that make the mantra P=MD ring even louder in my head.

So with under 3 weeks left before the final exam, I've got some serious ground to make up so that I too don't end up retaking this dam class. Funny thing is that I still love it! So with that, I'm off to do more studying on this beautiful Saturday afternoon!

So I spent most of the day at the library studying my buns off! I have a LOT to do over the next few days, and while I'm exhausted I'm so excited about this class! No matter how much I try to downplay it, I really am a very analytical, scientific thinker (translated NERD!) which makes this class especially interesting. Even with my strong background in biochem, I'm still learning so many new things but I guess that's what makes the study of medicine so interesting to me!

At 40 years old, I'm NOT the oldest in my class. A woman, another African American, is 42 but you know we hold it down as the oldies but goodies in class!

This weekend, I plan to add some MCAT practice exams in the biological sciences to add a little flavor to my exam study and to make up for essentially putting my MCAT books down these past few weeks. In other words, I'll be VERY busy!!!!

This past week, I had my first experience with the gunner from hell in my med biochem class and it had been so very long since I had come in contact with such a hugely egotistical and arrogant classmate, that I almost forgot how it was. Almost. Of course, I'm reminded everyday when the class goes over time because this one student spends at least 15 minutes/day asking questions/making comments. Questions in general are cool, but they shouldn't be used as opportunities to try to make youself look smart. Unfortunately, not everyone knows that.

So last week, we had a group project and of course, Ms Gunner was not only in my group, but asked me to be in a group with her. I thought to myself, "dam, just great", but being the half-full kinda gal I am, I thought to myself, "here's an opportunity to overcome a HUGE academic obstacle".

Needless to say it was a COMPLETE disaster. We had to evaluate a problem dealing with hyperventilation and the body's reaction to it and being the Chemist I am (post MS in Chemistry 10 years) I KNEW that the solution to the problem was related to the Bohr Effect. Unfortunately, I'd been struggling to understand oxygen binding/hemoglobin/CO2, ect so I wasn't able to explain WHY I knew that's where the answer was. So MsGunner, essentially takes the group in a direction away from the true answer and of course we were dead wrong. Now it wasn't that bad because no group got the answer right, but it's different to get an answer wrong because someone took you in the wrong direction. Had our group simply looked more into the Bohr Effect and it's relationship to oxygen binding hemoglobin, we probably would have gotten the answer right. This reminded me of when I was in grad school previously in a group that went in the wrong direction, except this time I knew the material well, explained it thoroughly, but was still left alone in my position. In that instance, I was right, but I had to write a one page explanation to my professor as to why I thought I was right, and my group was wrong.

Now if I had a dollar for every time I was left standing alone either in school or at work in similar situations as I described above, I'd have a couple hundred dollars by now. And after many, many years of dealing with this, I'm left with very few options for why this happens. In the first example I spoke of in med biochem, another woman who happened to also be black, wrote out the equation for what she thought was going on and the equation was related to the Bohr Effect. So in a group of 4, we have 2 folks who think differently from the other 2. Hmmmmm.

Ironically, the 2 others in the group were 2nd year med students so was this a case of them "knowing" more? Perhaps, but if that's the case I imagine they wouldn't be in a summer class making up for having not passed the course during the school year. At any rate, I really, really, hope that this isn't what the future holds as far as medicine is concerned. If so, I just hope that someone is there to clean up the errors, because in medicine, "know it alls", tend to make mistakes, and in medicine, mistakes can cost lives.