And we're off!!!

All and all, this wasn't a very good week for me and I took 2 sick days off, as some old health issues became problematic but I have to concede that I haven't done a very good job eating healthy, resting, and taking my medications. I'm just finding it difficult to remember to take my meds so I decided to purchase one of those pill dispenser things with the days of the week on them so I can stay on track. I figured I had another 20 or so years before I needed to buy one to remember what I'm supposed to be taking, but I guess that didn't work out to be the case for me.

I received my TBR review books in the mail today and I'm working on generating a new and improved study schedule for the MCAT. So far, this review material appears to be much more helpful than EK because like my old Chemistry and Organic textbooks, they quiz you on each new topic right after it's discussed. There's also MCAT style review passages after each major section, for example there are 14 passages/100 questions immediately after the section on Carbonyls and Alcohols. One other very critical change to my study plan this go round is that I'm spending more time figuring out why I get answers right or wrong than I spend testing myself. It finally occurred to me that if I'm to make some permanent and long term (ie USMLE) improvements in my test taking ability, I'd better go all out NOW, least I end up like so folks I've heard about, those who get in and can't do well on standardized tests for the remainder of their medical careers with disastrous consequences.

Other things on my mind these days is my future in medicine, specifically what fields I'm interested in. Of course, I LOVE pathology and decided on it when I was in high school 20_+ years ago, but with the realization that my nest is going to be empty in the next 5 years, I've decided to open my mind to the possibility of other fields. Given my strong involvement in breast cancer outreach through the Komen Foundation, I've always kept in the back of my mind a possible career as on Oncologist. But I wonder if despite my formal training as a hospice volunteer, if I could deal with the day in and day out of my patients being seriously ill and/or dying. The other field I'd keep on my radar is as a Gerontologist although I know from experience that caring for the elderly can be quite a challenge. I'm thinking that since my life these days is about as unplanned and unscripted as can be, it be best to keep an open mind about my future. Besides, I'm getting a little tired of making God laugh with my own plans! :)

Sh*t or get off the pot!!!!

So after meeting the other day with another adcom member at a local school, I realized that my movement toward becoming an MD could be best described by the image of me sitting on a toilet seat with a line of 1000 people waiting their turn. With me locked to it by a chain. I realized that when it boils down to it, I have been in my own way a realization I don't think I could have made earlier due to the extreme stress of my personal life combined with lingering health issue. But at this phase of my life, a significant portion of the stress in my personal life is gone, my health is better than it has been in years, and I think I'm now able to take a clear, objective look at what's really been holding me back. Because as I've known for years, and had confirmed yet again, there's nothing in my med school app keeping me from being accepted somewhere here in the states................

However when I began this journey I wasn't over 40 and I don't care what anyone says, being over 40 with a less than perfect academic record from 25 years ago is a HUGE problem, and this was pretty much confirmed by the long standing adcom I met with this past week. I'm also aware that I'm not saying the right thing to "sell" myself as far as admissions is concerned and quite frankly being strongly interested in Pathology isn't really helping much. In other words, I'm gonna have to learn to "dance" and I mean Fred Astaire dance, if I'm to overcome the issues my age is going to present for most admission committees.

Of course, my biggest issue is my unwillingness to move until my kid finishes high school, a position I fully accept could cost me in the short run. My argument is that there are 8 med schools with in what I call commutable distances to where I live, so surely one of them can give me a shot. Of course, on problem is that one of them already did, 3 others recruited me back in the day, so I'm a little concerned about the not being focused issue coming up again. But that isn't going to stop me from trying anyway.......

Other news, I got another promotion this time to Director of Histopathology Services (but no more money, LOL) so that's exciting. So while I'm quite thankful and enjoy my work, it isn't enough, doesn't require enough of my brain cells, I don't really know why this couldn't be satisfying in the long run, just that it wouldn't be. The adcom asked me what my plan "B" was and I told this person that I'm living that now, six figure salary, high ranking position, that allows me to teach, do research, and use my scope on a regular basis. Then this person suggested that I could have a plan "C" and I thought to myself, I already tried that too, roll eyes, LOL!!. At the end of the conversation, this person couldn't understand why I hadn't reapplied to med school in recent years and suggested that that is what kept me out of the 5 year postbacc/MD program, a statement that made me go hmmmm because this person has a vote on the committee for the 5 year postbacc/MD program (althought this person didn't vote on my application). Most important for me in this conversation was learning that taking the MCAT again for the upteenth time wouldn't be a large concern and it was suggested to me that if I didn't crack 30 and felt I could with one more go at it, to just do it. Now that may sound crazy as hell until I tell you about a young lady that recently graduate Hopkins med school having taken the MCAT 6 times previously!

Speaking of MCAT, I ordered 2 of the AMCAS exams and my TBR books so they should be here soon and when they get here, I'll start my all out prep for the exam. I've also decided to take the MCAT in March and register for it as soon as I can. Overall, I'm quite comfortable with this plan for the exam because it doesn't feel rushed and allows me to do what I need to do to keep my grades at "A" level.

So with all that said, I'm off to spend yet another Saturday afternoon doing some MCAT verbal passages and other school work.

MCAT confusion????

So last week, I decide out of the blue to meet with the director of a local SMP program, the Dean of another med school, and my professor for my molecular physio class who just also happens to be my thesis mentor and adcom member at a local med school. My statements to each of them: "my job is great, the pay is even better, but it simply isnt enough. However, after multiple MCAT's I just can't seem to crack "30" and I don't know why".

The med school Dean whom I know quite well, suggested I take a MCAT diag after I told her than I was planning to repeat most of the premed preqs. And she insisted that I didn't need to repeat the classes. The director of a local SMP suggested that in order to even be considered, I'd need at least a "30" and maybe even higher. And when he asked me why I wasn't actively pursuing admissions to med school, and I told him I thought in light of things going on in my personal life I should wait, to which he suggested my waiting until my kid finished high school didn't seem necessary. He also suggested I keep both the Caribbean and DO schools on my radar which I was already doing and I always think is a must for anyone with any type of academic blemish on their med school app. Interestingly, he also didn't think repeating all the classes was necessary but did suggest an intensive MCAT prep course. Finally, my course prof/thesis advisor chimed in the same as the others about my putting off med school so far in the future and added that I needed to make sure if I took the MCAT prep course, that I really buckle down and work hard (which I admit I hadn't really done the first time).

I take the MCAT diag and score a VERY lobsided 26 and I report back to the Dean, to which she replies do the intensive test prep. The problem is, I'm not sure I believe her/them, or maybe I should say, I'm not confident in my MCAT test taking abilities? I dunno, all I know is that I'm so sick of the MCAT that I could just reguritate test passages, LOL!!

So with all that said, I've decided to still finish the Chemistry review because I need to know what the hell I'm doing when I decide to teach college chemistry again, but I'm also going to try another test prep strategy used by a friend (since EK hasn't helped me much) which helped her gain a whopping 8 points on her MCAT exam. Her's uses Berkely Review books supported by the EK 1001 questions, EK 30 minute exams, and of course the all the AAMC computerized exams. Cost, about $500.00 but hey, at this point I either wanna rock this thing for once and for all or I don't. And given the "headache" I have from bumping my head on the glass ceiling at work, I'm simply ready to do the damn thing!!

Run Baby, Run!!!

I almost forgot to mention that I started running (Ok, I'm mainly walking briskly) last week and so far I'm managing to keep up with everything else I have going on in my life too!! After having a complete physical recently and seeing everything comeback completely normal (except this dam fatigue), I decided it was time to string up my Ascic's running shoes and hit the pavement. Previously, I'd started training for the Marine Corp Marathon, then I broke my foot, had extensive nerve damage and was forced to stay off my feet for the most part for 6 months!! Yikes, I almost lost my mind! After I recovered from that but not enough to start running again, I started having those Percocet requiring "female issues" and I was pretty much sidelined as far as running was concerned until this past month.

So to be realistic, I won't be ready to do this thing until next year at the soonest, but I may try to walk it in memory of my father who was a Vietnam Vet Marine this Fall if I can. And so far, so good that "runner's high" is absolutely amazing!!!

Dr.'s only need apply!

So I learned the other day that because I'm not Dr., I won't be able to convert my position to a Research Assistant Professorship at my curent place of employment. And of course, I was NOT happy about that! The other rather bad news I learned is that I'll need to work for another 8 months before I can qualify to take my certification exams in Histology. So I'm gonna focus on my certs in bioterrorism/infectious disease, and keep the educational train movin'!!!

I also met with the Dean of a local med school whom I hadn't talked to since I had my surgery and she suggested that I stay on track with my goals after the dust settles on my personal and health "life". Cool, no problemo, I'm already there.
But with the knowledge that my career had been once again stiffled due to the education I lack, I'm definitely leaning toward a 3 year matriculation date instead of a 5. And in anticipation of that, I planning to move to another county in the region so that I will have more resources available to me when this thing pans out. And day after day, I'm reminded that it WILL pan out, I just don't know when (2012 or beyond), how (MD or DO), or where (US or caribbean), but work out it WILL!!!!