A GREAT first full week in class!!!

$hit!!! I typed a 4 paragraph post, then accidentally deleted it!!!! All I have left of that post is the picture of Dengue, the virus I'll be writing a paper on later this semester.

Gimme a couple days to remember what I typed and post it!! URGH!!!!!


Part Deux:

This is an abbreviated version of what I typed last night about my week:

1) I found a mentor for my neuropathology project on my job. Turns out being kind to a homeless looking stranger can pay off in ways you'd never imagine.

2) I'm starting to learn to assert myself without being a doormat/ or offensive. This is BIG in any job with authority!

3) I mentored a Hispanic future histotechlogist and may even be able to offer him a job as well. I'm a strong believer in each one, help one, and as a Blanaticasion (that's Black, Native American, and Caucasian) with a Little Latina spice thrown in for flavor courtesy of Trinidad/Spain, my paternal grandfather's homeland, I make sure to do my part to "brown" the research field.

4) I also learned that I have to retake the GRE ASAP!!! This sucks MAJOR booty because one, I HATED the GRE and two, that slows but NOT stops my MCAT prep.

5) Speaking of my PhD, I went to an open house on Tuesday and it went GREAT!!! Unfortunately, the acceptance rate has changed from 80% in 2005 to 30% in 2009, but hey, I'm going to give it a shot anyway!

6) I decided to drop one of my PhD classes because, well, because I'm not trying to kill myself in my last semester before I graduate. So I have two classes, a Neuroscience seminar and my PhD course in Bioterrorism/Emerging Infectious Disease which is the best thing since sliced bread!!!

Later!! :)

One week down, several to go!

When the week began with my Supv telling me that I shouldn't let other faculty run over me I knew I was in store for an interesting week. Turns out I'd given that "negative" faculty member more power than she actually has. And with that in mind, I finally decided (until next week, lol) that I would work on my PhD until med school came through, because I WILL be at a disadvantage in my current career path without it! I know, I know, back and forth and back and forth. This time though, I;ve registered for 2 courses for my PhD program, so there's my proof tha this thing is ON!

You may also remember me telling you about the female African graduate student that had me do a TON of work for her a few months ago then refuse to pay us for it. And I said then, that she would be back. Well in my best Gomer Pile voice, "suprise, suprise" guess who alomst needed a security escort out of my lab? Yep, that "want something for nothing because I screwed up my tissues" graduate student! So it turns out this week was ALL about those things about being in charge that you have to learn as you go along, like how to set the expectation with EVERYONE you come in contact with that you are to be respected no matter what!!! And that's a little hard for me at times because I tend to be very black and white about most things, as in doing too much or not enough. These days though, I'm now trying to learn to be more grey as opposed to black and white, and it's a hard thing to change 30+ years of adult behavior but I'm going to give it a try!

M, is for motivation. It's also for Medicine!!!

I have a sister who firmly believes that when you're at a station in life where God doesn't want you, he'll make things VERY uncomfortable for you while you're there. Well if that is true and I tend to believe it is, then right now, I'm the equivalent to having ants in my pants, big red, BITING, ants, LOL!!!!!!

I'm a person who's all about maximizing opportunities because that's just how I roll. So when I learned a few weeks ago and recently had reiterated to me that my desire to pursue a PhD in my current gig isn't received well at all by a certain higher up (who also ironically questions my qualifications because I don't have a PhD), my thoughts about why I am, where I am at this point in my life came up yet again. Except now, I'm starting to loose sleep over what's going on on my 9-5, and I HATE loosing sleep over ANYTHING.

Now I have a tough decision to make. Do I apply to the PhD program anyway knowing only my supervisor definitively supports me, or do I take a chance on not having a fall back plan should my job not become permanent?? I think we know what the answer to THAT question is. Path201X is gonna stay focused on her future and for common sense's sake, I'll have to include a job search as well.

Couple things I expect to experience in an academic environment. I expected to experience more camaraderie about research projects, but camaraderie is hard when people are "possesive" with their research agendas. I expected and was originally told that I had FULL SUPPORT for my pursuit of a PhD part-time because I would do so on MY time AFTER work and because I work at an institution that grants PhD's.

My thoughts about my situation right now are this. I REALLY wish I had at the very least reconsidered those other 5 year post bacc/MD programs I looked into last year this time but never followed up on (with the exception of the 1 I applied to and was subsequently rejected from). People close to me are telling me to get busy with the securing my employment future and to put the MCAT studying into FULL gear. No problem, already done. But that other little nagging thing that keeps coming up over and over and over again in my head, is my true desire to ultimately pursue the MD/PhD which I concede is crazy given my age. But I think there's a reason I keep coming back to it over and over and over again and that's because it's truly what I want to do. I WANT the clinical knowledge and I WANT the PhD training because I'm convinced it will significantly contribute to making me a superb Physician. Say what you will, folks with medical training MD or DO combined with a PhD, simply approach patient care issues with that extra eye for problem solving which in my observation, is greatly enhanced by having that strong research background.

Someone close to me says that I need to use all this newly created "job baggage" as motivation for securing my future. And that's exactly what I've done.

Did someone say, Physics??????????

Now if Physics could only come this easy for me.....

So after many hours of trying, I was finally able to transform the transformer back into a car and I actually rather enjoyed it too!! But my daughter will have to put Optimus Prime together BY HERSELF, LOL!!!!!!!!

I took most of the days since my last post off thanks in large part to some lingering health issues including an unusual flare up of my asthma, but I did manage to plunder through some Physics study in the process and lets just say, it was not and is not pretty!!! I need this stuff to be second nature i.e if 2 objects are dropped from the same height from planets that differ in gravitational pull by 1/2, which one will fall faster???? WTF??? I NEED this answer to be intuitive and come quickly!! URGH!!!!! So, I'm still in week one of my Physics review because I'm slow, LOL!!!!

I did manage to get a TON of progress done toward developing a hypothesis for my project at work, so that's exciting. So much so, that I think I'm going to definitively add Neurology to my list of possible career choices one day despite my fear of the dreaded intern year. But hey, many people survive it so I could too if I choose to go that route.

OK, tomorrow is back to the normal grind day for me, so this post is going to be a bit short so I can get to bed and get some rest. Hopefully everyone is enjoying the New Year as much as I am so far!!!!