Countdown to August 19th, 2010

So as the pic indicates, I'm studying both General and Organic simultaneously. Yeah, it may sound a bit crazy, but I think I can do it based on how the TPR lessons are organized and how easily the Chemistry stuffs tends to come back once I actually get started. The plan is to complete my General and Organic review in June, combine Physics and Biology in July, while also completing verbal exam questions daily. On the weekend, I plan to take a full length MCAT knowing I haven't reviewed everything yet since ultimately taking the MCAT is the goal (DUH!!). And I also need to make sure that I go thorough every AMCAS exam that's available before I actually take the exam.

Helping me stay motivated beyond the obvious are thoughts that one day, years from now, I'll be preparing to take STEP 1 during this exact same time frame. Years after that, I'll be preparing to take Step III during this exact same time, since Pathology is still my number one residency choice and taking STEP 3 while the clinical stuff is still fresh right after med school seems to make the most sense to me. Some years after that during this time, I'll be finishing up my fellowship and taking my boards in: Neuropathology, or Neurology, or XXXXXX?? Either way, I'm getting the sense that studying for major exams in May/June is gonna be my MO for some years to come, LOL!!! At least, that's the plan!! :)

And we're off!!!!

These days I'm pretty excited about my impending study for the MCAT. I haven't yet set up a study schedule but I do know I'm starting with Chemistry tomorrow and plan to end with physics since that's the stuff that lingers in my head for the shortest amount of time, LOL!! We've also just about finished unpacking too which is also great because I need a clutter free mind before I start studying.

Job wise, it's pretty much the same things I've complained about a lot over the past few years, I really need to stop working for other women because it's just too damn stressful for me! However, my natural interest in pathology allows me to put the crap aside and stay focused on the task at hand. Speaking of that, I may have mentioned my membership into an organization called the National Society for Histotechnology and I have to admit I was initially concerned that the educational level of the organization/publications would be substantially different from what I'm used to, dealing primarily with organizations like the Association of Clinical Pathology which consists primarily of Docs and Doc/Scientists (yeah, I know, that probably sounds like a very educational elitist thing to say, LOL!!). However, after looking thorough their signature publication, I'm not only very impressed but very intrigued too! In fact this will probably be the only Scientific journal I read from cover to cover on a regular basis since it goes beyond the who, what, where, when, and why's of tissue staining. I also received my Neuropath book and obviously that has me intrigued as well! Man, I guess I'm really a super nerd when it's all said and done!

Moving on, I'm also starting to think about schools I'll want to apply to next year and whether or not I should include a few nearby (WV, VA, PA) DO schools. Conventional wisdom says I should, but I don't think I'll choose to do that because relocating my kid to a new area is completely unacceptable right now. I say right now because I have given thought to the idea of say, attending med school in Philly, living there during the week, then returning home on the weekends. Right now, I feel pretty good about applying to all the schools in the metro DC area next year (yeah including Hopkins), and seeing what happens. If I get no love next year, then I'll reevaluate.

Ok, I'm outta here since it's beauty salon day, so that means that I should return home sometime tomorrow, LOL!! And hopefully, I won't come back with far less hair than I started with, LOL!! Have a safe holiday!!

First step, DONE!!!!

So I registered for the August 19, 2010 MCAT and I have to say that unlike the other 100 times I registered, I was actually nervous this time. And it didn't help that it took 3 tries for my application to go through which cased me to wonder what THAT had happened. Was God "testing" me to see if I really planned to go through with it this time? Or was this a "sign" that the road ahead wouldn't be as straight forward as I'd like? Or maybe the Internet wasn't working and that was ALL it meant? Whatever it was at this point it really doesn't matter, I'm just glad I followed through with this first critical step.

It did occur to me that if I'm not successful getting into med school I should think about a Fall back, which at one point used to be what I'm doing now. But my supervisor's decision to pull the rug on all the things that would have made my current job satisfying in the long term, now have me seeing my current gig as simply a stepping stone to other career options and opportunities. Now my thinking is that I should also apply to PA (that's Pathologist Assistant) school since that training and my already heavy background in pathology/histology should place me in the perfect position to be a "real" lab director in this field. And by "real", I mean that PA training would provide what I needed to know to run both the anatomic and clinical side of a pathology laboratory. What I'm missing now is extensive formal training in the clinical side of pathology, although my previous work as a Clinical Chemist for Ragcore (ie Labcore) and 1 semester in a graduate Clinical Chemistry program provide a good foundation. I'm just not comfortable with that.

So we'll see how it goes, I'm by no means throwing in the towel already with med school, I simply need to be realistic about my other plans should that not come through in the time frame I want it to.

No more Starbucks?

The other day I finished what will likely be my LAST cup of 5$ plus coffee. Why, because after YEARS of looking, I finally found a great white mocha flavor that tastes great in coffee. The brand is called Torani and I ordered it from Amazon. Yeah, I'm so high on white mocha right now I could just keel right on over in a sugar induced coma, LOL!! Of course, the 55 calories per tablespoon and the fact that I like my coffee very sweet, means that I'm gonna have to exercise extra hard to get my "starbucks belly" from getting any bigger, LOL!!

Other happenings, the task of unpacking boxes and getting the house in order is under way and has left me feeling completely exhausted. In a way, I feel myself getting a glimpse of my future as a Resident, where when I go to bed, I'm thinking about the one zillion other things I need to be/will be doing, so my mind won't let me get a good nights rest.

Today I'm at home because my daughter was ill with some sort of GI thing and had a slight fever on yestersday. And I'm sure my Supv isn't pleased, but hey I gotta do what I gotta do where my kid is concerned. Speaking of job, I guess you could say that in some ways, things are really getting crazy. I mentioned to my Supv my plan to attend a series of Neuroscience lectures at the school where I work, and she asked me why I was attending, as if this was the first time I'd ever attended a seminar. What I want to know is since when does a Scientsit have to explain why they're attending a lecture? Well the answer points back to Bully PI, the money she's invested in the department I work in, and her very obvious and almost flagrant characterization of me as "just a tech". Which reminds me that this is by far the most political place I've every worked in my entire life! I deluded myself into thinking these folks would be "different" and they are when it comes to many things. But the bullshit is still the same, whereas in industry it was a dark brown, here it's more "green", but all stinks to hell and back!! Anyway, I'm chalking it up to yet another life experience since no matter where you go, there's bound to be some level of BS around.

Job BS aside, these days I'm really enjoying the supplemental training I'm getting in Histology (which I'm personally funding)and I also applied for a PRN position as a Surgical Pathology Assistant at a local university hospital. Now that I'm essentially done with classes for a while, I need to do something to occupy my time so if this gig comes through, and I should have a decent shot as I know and have sat in on sign out with a few of the Pathologists, then I'm going to go for it!! I guess you could say that my life seems to reek from all directions with things relating to Pathology so I'm going to ride this wave until the next one comes along!! :)

The Director that was............

So, we're in the middle of packing for the movers who will be here on Sat afternoon and we're also having furniture delivered to the new place tomorrow. Man, what a week it has been!

I found out today that I will NOT be graduating tomorrow and that's cool since I'll get to delay repaying those student loans while I put more work into my independent study project. Plus, I absolutely LOVE being a student at one of the best Universities in the US, with associated perks out the "ying yang", LOL!!!

Other news, I learned yesterday that I will likely be replaced by...drumroll please........... by a freakin' Pathologist, which obviously makes sense because beyond medical histo and patho, I haven't been formally trained to read slides. But man, on one level I see my "demotion" to Supervisor as a message from God, reminding me that I MUST stay on task if I'm going to reach my professional goals. On the other hand, I had really started to get the hang of things, especially the political ones, so I'm actively looking for a similar position in the area. Sure, my current gig is flexible, but with this change my main reason for hanging in there despite being about 18K UNDER paid, having promises made and broken about when my position would become permanent, is COMPLETELY gone. Now this change hasn't been set in stone yet and that's good because my plan is to be in a similar position before the shit hits the fan so to speak. I could be wrong, but I'm VERY concerned about how it's going to look to prospective employers to see my CV read Manager, Director, then Manager again, in the same lab. Yikes!!!!!

Do these shoes make me look like a hooker?

So this is obviously going to be a very different post from my usual, LOL!!. And recognition of the "era of Beyonce" has led me to the realization that I needed to seriously update my shoe wardrobe. My mother has worn 4in heels for as long as I can remember and now in her mid 60's she still does. As an aside about 17 years ago, my step Dad accidentally threw away almost EVERY single pair of shoes I had (he claimed he thought they were in the salvation army box), so it has taken me this long to get back into shoes again, LOL!!

The problem is that today, the ladies are wearing 6 inch stilettos and all I can think about is how ugly their feet are gonna be in a few years and how bad their backs are going to hurt when they get to be my age, in their 40's. Feet simply weren't made to be in 6 inch heels for extended periods of time! So I've set my limit at 4.5 inches and I'm gonna call it a day since I already have back problems and I like NOT having "hammer time" in my shoes!

Movin' on, we're now in the throws of packing for our move in 2 weeks and someone the other day asked me why I just didn't hire movers to pack for me. Well I tried that before and lost some family heirlooms so I vowed not to do that again as far as packing is concerned. Obviously, I won't be moving furniture, boxes of books, ect, but my most treasured things like my album collection which goes back to the 70's, will be touched by no one but ME, not even immediate family members are allowed to touch that!!

I've also set my date to take the MCAT for August 15th although I haven't officially registered yet. I do plan to register this week, all in preparation for hitting the books beginning the first Monday in June and I'll post on a regular basis my progress.

Guess that's about it for this post, I'm being taken to breakfast this morning for Mother's Day, so I have to run. To all the Mother's out there and the Dad's who function as Mother's, have a great day!

You're either going to work or go to school.......

The first time someone in a position to make a difference in my future said the words in my blog title to me, I was about 23 years old with an overall science GPA of about 2.2. I also cried for the next 2 hours straight!!!! On Tuesday, I heard those words again, this time from my beloved graduate advisor (yes, I used the the word beloved because he's the best) except this time, instead of crying, I conceded he was right and vowed to put myself in a position to do just that (I also have a far higher GPA now too!!). The thing is that if life circumstances force me to decide to focus on attending school full-time, it sure as hell won't be an ANYONE's PhD program. So guess what this post is all about, yeah I know, I've said it plenty of times before, but with the recollection of just how difficult it is to work a demanding job and make great grades fresh on my mind, I'm gonna make a plan for med school and stick to it if it kills me!!!!!

So Fall 2012 is the date I'm setting to matriculate in med school, with my MCAT prep to start in earnest this summer, NO MORE EXCUSES!!!!!

In the meantime, I'm going to focus on fine tuning my pathology skills till they're razor sharp. So what happened to the ID stuff? Well, those opportunities disappeared like a fart in the wind, THAT's what happened :(. One PI realized he didn't have the funding support and the other decided to go with a PhD (Oh $hit, not this again, LOL). So between this, my failure to kick ass in all my classes this semester while working a job that keeps me on my toes, I've decided to go in the direction that the wind is blowing in rather that "fight" it.

I also attended 2 Neuroscience seminars this week and I was just blown away by what I learned and my ability to understand exactly what the presenter was speaking on. Of course, this Neurology thing isn't the first time I've mentioned it on my blog before and I still think studying an ID that affects the brain would be mega cool!!! It just doesn't look like the Neuro/ID thing is going to happen so for now, I'm still on the Neuro path which was set for me the the nature of the fact that 50% of my customers are conducting research in TBI. That of course means, that Bully PI and I are gonna see each other a LOT in Neuroseminars and other Neurology related events. Great! So, I've decided that I'm gonna make sure my knowledge in this area is so tight she's gonna think she's dealing with a Path resident doing a fellowship in Neuropath, which I have ironically been asked a few times by customers in the lab. And living with in commuting distance of one of the best Neuropath programs in the US (Hopkins), means that everything I need to become highly knowledgeable in this field is easily at my disposal.

In other news, my mothers visit hasn't been as stressful as I thought it was going to be, but that was mainly because I haven't seen her much, LOL!! We did spend the day together today and I'm exhausted, but we managed to have some fun for a change. Of course, an afternoon at one of the best outlet malls in the US doesn't hurt either, LOL!!!!

Finally, just want to briefly say RIP to my SIL Dr. Audrey B. May you have more peace in death than you had in life.....................