Show me what you're working with!!!!!!

"You need to prove to me that you know what you're doing". Path201X's response, "And you need to kiss where the sun don't shine", LOL!!!

There haven't been many times people have stepped to me on the BS tip with such a statement, but it has happened more than it should have and for reasons I'm sure we all could guess outside of being in graduate/professional school. The problem is that as I've gotten older, I've noticed my response to that initial statement is getting, how shall we say, stronger as I get older, ROTFLMBAO!!!!!

Now I didn't really respond that way and never would in a professional setting, but I sure as hell thought it initially. My response was a few words I've edited but suffice it to say, I needed to make real clear that I work with her, not FOR her. And you know I'm sure this is NOT what my mentor had in mind when we talked the other day about me only saying yes, LOL!!!

Here's what I've never tolerated very well in work setting. People dumping their insecurities about themselves on me, people who respond negatively when I suggest an experiment or protocol different from the one they suggested, and proceed to get loud, angry and defensive. And showing an insecure person something they suggested didn't work is suicidal to having a good relationship with them but I still have a job to do. Basically, my attitude is "that's yo' shit, deal with it so we can move this research agenda along". At this point, I'm sure I don't need to mention that the path I work with wasn't real happy with my response and proceeded to pull out her publications, yelling and spouting off about her numerous degrees (she has a PhD along with being a Vet), ect ect, I think you get the picture. Now at this point, I thought to myself if you were all that, your ass would have earned tenure and NOT been fired, but saying so would have been a "jugular vein" moment that could have cost me my job. But it did get me thinking once again, about how I'm going to react when the Nurse who really wanted to be a doctor but couldn't get into med school, steps to me in my third year during my neurology rotation with a similar "I don't think you know shit" attitude/statement. How am I gonna react then, because sassing off at the mouth probably won't get me the above average eval I would have earned. :)

What I do know is that when a person who barely knows you or what you can do comes off this way, your chances of getting them to change their minds is about as good as reverse engineering dog excrement into smelling like roses, it just ain't gonna happen which is why I NEVER waste my time trying. What I did and desperately need to master, is staying focused at ALL times and this is challenging in my current environment with a dirty stinkin' eggplant in the background adding fuel to the fire.

I've said this before, I'm a person who believes that God is in control of everything even when things seem tough, but more than that, every difficulty in life is preparation for something MUCH bigger. And speaking of something MUCH, MUCH bigger, I'm meeting with my main male mentor (the one from my last post) in person next week to discuss both my work and school plan and this is probably just the boot in the arse I need to stay focused on taking the MCAT this year and applying to med school next year. So I think I'm going to go with completing one book/month in the TBR review series in Chem, Orgo, and Physics, mixing in verbal and bio during the month as well and at the end of the month, I'll take a full length MCAT exam. At this pace I shouod be ready to sit for the MCAT by August or September of this year!!

And my Wii fit age is.....................................

...................83!!! YIKES!!! At least that's what it was a month ago, today I came in at age 33, the first time I scored in the 30's age bracket!!! Whew, I'm getting in better shape everyday, knees too!!

Now I know I talked recently about trying to stay positive especially when it comes to work, but after these past 2 very trying days, and me cabbage patching in my car all the way home today, I couldn't wait to fill in the latest from my "wonderful" job!!!

It's an absolutely AMAZING feeling when people, in their attempt to set you up to look bad, not only make an ass of themselves in the process, but make it crystal clear that an "alternative agenda" is at play as well. How things got to this point is the most interesting because it pretty much involves me trying to please 2 people, the PI or clients who request services and often want things done a their way, and the new path's insecurity about NOT getting tenure in her last job.....Opps I digress, her not always agreeing with what the PI wants to do. Can you say stuck between a rock and a hard place, LOL??? Needless to say, following what the PI wants or what I suggest when it's different from what she wants/suggests hasn't gone over very well, so a LOT of what I'm learning in this gig is about the politics of trying to please 2 people who sometimes have opposing views on things. I'm also learning how to deal with loud, boisterous, conversationally inconsiderate people who hate being not being in control, LOL!!! So my visual in the spirit of positivity, is me during my 3rd year IM rotation, trying to please the head nurse and my attending!! Yeah, gotta keep things in their proper context, LOL!!!

Speaking of context, my MCAT score was 21T, but I'm far from panic mode. This was the first complete test I've taken in a VERY long time, I've got many months ahead to prepare for the real thing, and at least I took the damn thing!!!

Other really great news is that the Pathology Informatics (PI) study is coming along really well. A recent convo among the experts is the issue of PHI, HIPAA, the "law", and what is and isn't PHI. I've also come to the realization that since almost ALL of my mentors are cancer folks it would be in my best interest to seriously consider getting back to cancer or at the very least, focus in Cancer informatics within my Bio/Pathology informatics training. So in addition to studying for the MCAT, I'm also currently taking an online course in Java programming. Man, I'm so excited because the possibilities in this emerging field are absolutely endless!!! There's even talk of creating a new specialty in medicine called Clinical Informatics because whether we like it or not, computers truly are the wave of the future!!!

From negative Nancy to positive Paula!!!!

Hi I'm "Paula" having recently reformed myself from being "Nancy", LOL!! It's funny how a dark cloud will stay there as long as you keep telling yourself it's there!!! These days, or maybe I should more correctly say, the past 6 months have really been "something" but I feel like I've changed in ways I couldn't have imagined before and all for the better. So I'm going to keep riding on this "positive" train as long as I can.:)

Today is a reasonable big MCAT day and I'll be taking my first test in all the subjects tested on the exam for the first time in I don't know how long, so wish me luck!!! :)

Ice, Ice, Baby!!

I guess these days I'm into the song titles/lyrics for my post titles, LOL!!!

We had a pretty bad ice storm here in metro DC a few days ago which resulted in me not being able to get my front wheel drive car out of the parking space on an incline (Yeah, I know I shouldn't have parked there the night before). The feds were on a 2 hour work arrival delay, so I figured I had plenty of time to get myself together that morning (factoring in at least 30 mine to get all the ice off my car). I then tried to call my Supv, then her Supv, then her Supv and when I couldn't reach anyone, I sent an email to my Supv telling her I would be late. At this point, I figured I'd better focus on resolving my child care issue since the schools were now closed. Now I normally arrive by 7:30 so with a 2 hour delay, that should have put me at an arrival of 9:30. Too bad it didn't happen that way, I started walking in the ice to the nearest bus stop whose schedule I didn't know because I hadn't ridden the bus in I don't know how long and proceeded to stand there in the 20 something weather for at least 30 mins (good thing I had on my long johns, LOL). When I got to the metro and went up the platform to board the train, the station manager announced that there was a fire and that NO train would be running to my job which was 3 metro stops from where I was supposed to get on. So now I'm saying to myself, this ish isn't going to go over very well I can feel it even though the damn weather is completely out of my control as is the metro systems decision to run or not run trains!

By 10:30AM when I was STILL waiting for a shuttle bus to get me to the station near my job,I decided to call my Supv's, Supv's to tell her what was up (since mine was still unavailable) and to let her know that I had NO idea how long it would take for me to get to work (again, I'm getting a bad feeling). So I finally arrived at work 3.5 hours AFTER I left my house to a Supv with what can best be described as major attitude. Whatever, if the Feds had a 2 hour delay due to weather than the company I contract with should have: 1) Followed suit because if it's too dangerous for other Feds to come to work in ice, then those contracting with the Gov't shouldn't be any different and 2) I had a kid I had to make arrangements for before leaving for work, so I STILL would have been in late because NO "interest" comes before my kid's (I guess it's a good thing I'm not in med school yet)!!!!!. One thing I did appreciate about my day spent using public transportation is that It's really nice to have a great car, that there's a HUGE difference between using public transportation everyday and when you feel like it, and that my knees are almost back to normal!!!!

Over the years, the only thing more professionally disconcerting for me about working with/for women in general, is working for women who have NO familial responsibilities because more often than not, they simply don't get it! When I was in grad school the first time, I had to drop a class after the published deadline because I'd almost lost our baby and was put on a restricted schedule by my OB/GYN. The prof of that class, a woman, went to the extreme to keep me from dropping the class, forcing me to go to the Dean (a man) to overthrow her decision. And I could go on and on and on (turns out this woman had been trying to have a baby for ~ 15 years and had been unsuccessful so I guess bad karma really does bite you in the ass eventually).

Enough about all that negative 'ish, I didn't register for the MCAT course offered by my employer because it was based on the EK study model, which I found pretty useless. I am however doing the damn thing where my own study is concerned, scoring my first "9" in chemistry in a VERY long time! Yeah I know, baby steps especially for a chemistry major but I had developed this mental block thing that I just couldn't get over!! Now I feel like I'm on a roll!

Career wise, looks like Pathology Informatics is gonna be my new "it" thing, and given how interesting everything I'm learning including computer programming (YIKES!!), it's going to be a nice, VERY well paid ride and thanks to the internet, I feel like a kid in a Pathology candy store!!!

Baby it's cold outside!!!

So it turns out my youngest "child" enjoys the fireplace more than the humans in my house do, LOL!!!

I'll take a hot comb, a flat iron, and some acrylamide???

Anyone who saw Chris Rocks' movie "Good Hair", knows what those items are mentioned in my title. But the acrylamide probably throws some folks for a loop , unless you've done some recombinant DNA research. Strangely enough, acrylamide was listed as one of the ingredients in one of the hair care products I recently purchased marketed to folks with kinky hair (noticed I didn't say black hair because I know many black folks with naturally straight hair, so IMHO there's no such thing as "black hair".) Needless to say, I won't be using THAT product and I now read the ingredients of the hair products I use VERY carefully.

On to other things, what in the hell was I thinking talking about registering for a GRE prep course? Actually, WTF was I thinking, geez I'm gunning for my plan "B" without realizing it!!!! So no, I didn't register for THAT course, I'm going to register for the MCAT prep course and I'll be literally praying the class isn't full yet!! Guess I'll find out tomorrow and as soon as I do, I'll let you know!!

I also got a lead on a job in the path department at a local hospital, which will involve ONLY pathology informatics type work and I'm going to seriously consider applying for it. I really miss being around human pathologists (no offense to vet paths), but I also miss my work having more direct human relevance (as it did was I was at the NIH in the Path dept.). It will also mean about 10K more in pay and I'm certainly down with that!!

Speaking of Pathologists, I've been doing a lot of research on options to get med school paid for like the public health service and although I'll technically be over the age limit for these programs, I'm going to do my best to make it hard for them to tell me no should I apply. Of course, my MCAT is going to factor in heavily since I have a gizzilion credits hours including some med school credits, so I'm just going ot focus on staying and maintaining my motivation to see this things throuygh to the end!

New Year's resolutions?

What is it about a new year that tells people they need to make new years resolutions? Well this year for the first time in I don't know how long, I've decided to make a few myself.

First, I've decided to take a GRE prep course being offered by my employer for almost nothing with the idea that I'm reconsidering ALL of my employment/career options as I stand in my life TODAY, while still keeping my eye on the prize as far as med school is concerned. I'm a little less certain about taking a course in emerging infectious diseases having completed the pathogenesis part of this course last Spring (and very much out of order). I can't decide of I'll be able to "handle" this while also preparing for the MCAT, which is still VERY much on the table (and my weekly "visits" to the clinical center at the NIH helps a LOT with helping me stay motivated). Third, I'm going to exercise EVERYday, and so far thanks to the Wii, this is no problem and a LOT of fun (I'm almost a pro in tennis)!!! Forth, we're moving to a new place sometime this Spring and this is perhaps most daunting for me. My daughter won't have to change schools (because her school is not too far from my job), but this will add ~30 mins to my commute time. We'll also have to get up ~30 mins earlier everyday and had this been the case today, it wouldn't have gone over too well, LOL!!

And my final resolution for their year is to do all of the above while being sexy, sane, and resolute, !!!!