Chemistry is b-e-a-utiful!!!

So in support of my daughter's “decision” to earn a BS in Geological Engineering followed by a PhD in Geology instead of pursuing a career as an Architectural Engineer, we decided to visit the Museum of Natural History in DC. Of course, much of geology as it relates to stone formation, is nothing but physics combined with plain ol' chemistry, so I had a good time trying to guess which elements created the plethora of beautiful colors we saw in the stones!
And seeing all these naturally created colors made me think about the beauty of what God has created and about pathology as well, since I get to see the same kaleidoscope of colors staining tissue too!

MCAT wise, I had another great week ending with scores of 9 PS, 11VR, and 13BS and again I want to emphasize that: 1) I haven’t yet finished reviewing everything and 2) Focusing so intensely on verbal for months early on is the reason I score so well without having reviewed all the material yet. In a nut shell, I’m perfectly on track to take and do well on my exam this September!!
That’s all for today, have a great weekend and stay cool (as in temp)!!!!

I'm feeling schizo lately

So I'm back to using the name Path201X because now that I'm preparing to back to work in a pathology/histology lab setting, I'm realizing just how much I really LOVE the field. And I'm VERY good at it too!

Which has me thinking of how I can combine my interest in working with patients with pathology. Then I recall that my pediatrician growing up was a DO that NEVER completed a residency, just her internship year. For clarity, I'm not talking about being able to see patients in a hospital or similar setting because that would obviously require I complete residency and get certified. I'm talking about being able to volunteer at a clinic for uninsured patients a couple times/month. Or being able to go to Costa Rica and live for a month while providing healthcare to indigent folks there. I'm thinking those type activities may not be beyond my reach if I say, complete internship year like Paths in the past were required to do (and which helps with passing step 3 IMHO), then finish a Path residency.

Here's a better question. What's the difference between a Doc who only completed their Intern year in a patient care setting, and a DNP/NP/PA? Don't they get to see patients unsupervised?

Anyhoo, just more sharing of the thoughts running through my head. Now I have to get back down to earth where I'm about to hit the MCAT Physics books!

Pre-Pre 3rd year all nighters

For whatever reason, I didn't go to sleep until 6 AM this morning, which means I was up for 23 hours straight for no pressing reason. So I did end up having 2 MCAT study sessions yesterday, one at my local starbucks and the other from about 10PM until 2AM. And my study is going extremely well!! After studying, I surfed the net and cable TV until I finally fell asleep at ~6AM. And while surfing the net, I came across the TV show Hopkins 24/7 which I had NEVER watched before. And in typical fashion, the stories that touch me more were the ones of people being treated for cancer. One of the story lines was about a 14 year old girl who was diagnosed with uterine cancer (eventually), but because the insurance company took her family on a trip down "papertrail" lane, her treatement was delayed, and she ended up dying from a cancer that typically has a 5 year survival rate in the 90% range. So once again, I'm reminded of why I HATE insurance companies and why the idea of having to deal with them in ANY way, pushes me back into wanting to stick with Pathology!!

Anyhoo, this is going to be a short post because now my 23 hour marathon is starting to catch up with me! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!

Finally, RIP to Amy Winehouse. This woman could sang, as we say down south. I'm just wishing she like so many others before her, had said yes, yes, yes, to a long term successful stint in rehab.In the video below, she sings the Marvin Gaye/Tammy Terrell flavored "Tears Dry On Their Own". They most certainly do......................

The beauty of diversity

One of the things that was at the forefront of my mind when I moved here in 2000 was that I wanted my daughter to have a VERY different childhood/educational experience than the one I had growing up from age 10 to 17 in Florida, living in an all Black neighborhood and attending all Black publicschools. Actually, I wanted her to have the diverse life I had growing up in Cali until my parents divorced when I was 10 years old.

Well her life hasn't been "diverse/Black enough" to me which I realize is a pretty ridiculous statement to make given that we quite deliberately live in the one of the least Black neighborhoods in metro DC (I've mentioned before that most Buppies in metro DC live in PG County, a county I refuse to live in because the public schools are crap despite having the highest per capita income of Blacks in the US). But that move was about getting her the best public education we could (and it's tops in the US), more than anything else.

So this year, when we were applying to summer camps for her to attend, I purposely picked one that I knew was targeted to Black girls because well, I wanted her to try to have more Black friends, girls with goals similar to hers. Well, the photo in this post is of my daughter's project group at camp and as you can see, the ONLY black girl in the photo is my kid. So I send my kid to an engineering camp with 80% Black girls, and she STILL ends up in a group full of Asian girls, LOL!!! And I should NOT be surprised. Her best friend is Chinese, most of the kids in the orchestra with her are Asian, and she's been taking Chinese language since she was in elementary school. Her bedroom is also full of Asian furniture and whatnots and has been since elementary school.

Now on one level, I'm thrilled she hangs with Chinese kids because when it comes to academics, these kids mean business. I've never seen one of them in "booty shorts", and when they come to our home, I eavesdrop on them talking about which classes to take and what college they want to attend. So when I asked her yesterday why she doesn't have many "other" friends, she responded that most of the "other" girls at her school are either too fast or too ghetto (and let me clarify, she ain't just talking about just Black girls here). What?!?! I can admit, that I've been looking at crotches and weave since she was in elementary school but I never expected to hear her say that. She does have one Black and one White girlfriend, but is that "enough"? Does that question even make sense?

I keep asking myself if it's okay that her main friends happen to be Asian, and I guess it should be because people should be allowed to be whomever they are and associate with people whom they have things in common with. And today's kids seems much more open minded about race than people in my generation were. People close to me tell me I'm worrying for no reason, that I should be happy she's not that into boys (yet), and seems so focused on having her own personal style, and being her own individual. And I am. I guess.

Angry Black woman no more???

FYI, I've changed my "name" to Doc201X to reflect the fact that I appear headed toward a TBD clinical medical speciality to be combined with a research career.

Now I know I've blogged about this before, but feel that because I'm entering a new mindset professionally, I'll speak about it again to put this issue to rest.

There are a couple events which occurred during my previous tenure as Director of Histopathology and Pathology Lab Manager over the past 2 years, that will forever change who I am as a Scientist and future Physician (and because the internet isn't all that anonymous, I choose to wait until now to discuss it with more specific details):

1) Having an employee that works for me throw her timesheet on my desk when she thought I wasn't looking (Eggplant).

2) Being regularly screamed at by a colleague (Physically "challenged", raggedy mouth DVM/PhD).

3) Not being put on committees other lab director's were on.

4) Having my choice of whom to hire to work for me, vetoed on BOTH jobs as Director and Lab Manager.

Now I've seen Black women in charge in Scientific/Medical settings all of my collegiate/professional life but I had NO IDEA just how much $hit they had to deal with every day that is, until I got a little "power" myself. So not long after I resigned this past March, I went to see every Black woman I knew who was in a position of power and asked them why da' hell they didn't warn me, LOL!! And they all pretty much laughed (at my naivety I suppose), LOL!!!

I've also wondered why so many Black woman in power seemed so cold and icy, and now I know it's a survival mechanism, even though cold and icy isn't my personality nor could it ever be. But I have learned how to be Kimberly, doing my best to remain and maintain a cool as a cucumber disposition at ALL times and I can admit it took me a minute to "get over" just how bad I was treated on my last gig. What I know for sure as a Black woman is that anger, even the perception/misperception of anger, is a career killer, no matter how justified she may be in her feelings. And I'm thrilled to feel like I've got that in check, FINALLY!!

What do the people say, "No weapon formed against me shall prosper"? You'd better believe it!

PS- This post doesn't in ANY way change the fact that I will NOT work for another woman between now and med school, LOL!!!

Path's top 5 "What Da ????" moments of late

Given how outspoken I am, I thought it would be fun to post a list of my "what da' ???" moments every now and then. And please feel free to fill in the ??? with whatever word/explicative you feel appropriate:

1) The dems and repubs are in a stand off over avoiding a debt crisis!!! What da" ???????

2) Casey Anthony is going to be released this weekend. What da" ????. And let me give you a hint on the ????, it begins with the letter "F"!!!!!!

3) I had some SERIOUS negotiations with my new Big Pharma company regarding my salary. What da' ???.

4) The Repubs recently rescinded a document which essentially stated that black families were better off during slavery. What da' double "F word" here!!!!

5) With a beautiful weekend ahead weatherwise, I'll be at my local bookstore/Wegmans studying for the MCAT. What da'???? Okay maybe this one shouldn't count, LOL!!!!

So what exactly is the plan, Miss Thang?

Good question, and these past 4 months have given me PLENTY of time to think about that. So here goes and since I've been a student off and on since 1984, I tend to do these things by school calender year:

1) Fall 2011-Take MCAT in Early September, enroll in Bioinformatics course (you didn't think I forgot that, did you?).

* Stay focused and motivated

2) Spg 2012- Communicate with MD and DO schools regarding my impending application. Enroll in Bioinformatics course.

* Stay focused and motivated

3) Summer 2012- Enroll in Bioinformatics course, apply to med schools/begin work on secondaries.

* Stay focused and motivated

4) Fall 2012- Finish secondaries/interview to med school, get ASCP certification in Histology, Molecular Pathology, and IHC, enroll in Bioinformatics course.

* Stay focused and motivated

5) Spring 2013 - Enroll in 2 Bioinformatics courses, get certificate in Bioinformatics in May 2013.

* Stay focused and motivated

6) Summer 2013 - Start MD/PhD (in Bioinformatics) or DO/PhD program.

Now let me just put this out there early, this plan may be delayed by a year due to a significant decision I need to make regarding my personal life. But one year is the MAX amount of time I'm going to allow anything or anyone to delay me any further, outside of some VERY serious illness/tragic event. And given that I've already delayed my med school goals a couple times for others and occasionally due to some serious illness/tragic event/other, I'm getting to the point now where I may need to just "be there" by Skype from the library of someones medical school in the future!!

10 things I do to reduce my risk of breast cancer

I'm posting this list at the request of one of my most faithful readers and someone I consider a friend. Here's to your Kris!

1) I maintain a normal body-mass index (BMI).

2) I exercise regularly.

3) I don't smoke.

4) I actively work to control my stress through diet, exercise/yoga, and decreasing my exposure to negative things and people.

5) I perform monthly breast exams and have a mammogram every year.
6) I limit my consumption of exogeneous chemicals in foods for example, hormones and other chemicals in meats and pesticides on fruits and veges. This basically means I spend a lotta money at Whole Foods, LOL!!!
7) I limit my alcohol intake.
8) I take vitamin and mineral supplements everyday and eat fruit and veges, like blueberries and broccoli, which have anti-tumor/cancer properties.
9) I limit my exposure to environmental pollution such as vehicle exhaust, gas fumes, and other air pollution.
10)Because many researchers feel that changing these 2 on the list has the potential to reduce by as much as 75%, the chronic disease we see in the black community, I'm going to relist here maintaing a healthy weight and eating healthy foods.

Now I can easily admit that like other people, there's a few on this list I do better than others, for example I could exercise more than I do now , which incidentally wasn't a problem when I was working full time. Go figure!! Now that I'll be back to work in about a month and have decided to catch the bus which will also include about a quarter mile walk from where the bus lets me off to get to my job, I won't have too many problems getting my exercise in on a regular basis.

You're hired!!

After almost 4 months, it looks like my days of being involuntarily unemployed are about to come to an end, with a start date for my new gig with Big Pharma tentatively set for August 6, 2011 (that's a Saturday?). And while I haven't received the official offer yet (remember NOTHING is official until you see it in writing), I'm confident I'll be signing off on this new gig very soon!

So what was the first thing I did to "celebrate"? I rescheduled my MCAT for Sept. 10, one, because I needed the extra time and two, because I wasn't going to take a day off on my new job in my first 2 weeks on the job. And despite my concerns about returning to Big Pharma, I'm thrilled to have this opportunity where so many people are either very underemployed or unemployed.

Regarding the MCAT, I had to pull out yet another Physical sciences book for clarity, this one by princeton review and NOW I can say my physics is going well AND is showing signs of consistency. So that's 3 test prep methods, EK, Princeton review, and Berkeley review needed for one d*mn subject! URGH!!! But at least I'm getting it together for what WILL be the last time!

Well, I think I'm going to celebrate with family tonight as this has been a LONG haul with MANY disappointments along the way. But I'm certain that everything I've dealt with the past 4 months or so are really just opportunities for me to toughen up to what's going to be required of me once I matriculate in Med School!

More lessons in being inspired and committed to medicine

You're a wealth of healthy information regarding this disease (breast cancer). My mother passed she had uterus cancer, my oldest sister had passed away last year battling breast cancer, my other sister survived nasopharyngeal carcinoma, my other sister found a cluster they removed last week and will be getting radiation therapy in a month. I've had my bout with CML and in complete remission. I will take heed to your 10 steps. Thank you so much! This is very good information.

These days I feel my life is one recurring message after another of how my time to matriculate into med school is drawing near and for those moments when I'm frustrated to hell and back (studying physics, of course), I get a reminder of why I need to suck it up, get the job done,and keep it moving! And the PM above did just that plus so much more.

On my facebook page, I posted 10 things I do in my life to reduce my chance of being diagnosed with breast cancer or any cancer for that matter. And yesterday, I received the above PM from Karen, one of my high school classmates regarding my post where I was shocked to learn that cancer seems to "run in her family". Which got me thinking of all the other cancers out there that aren't as hip and popular as breast cancer and this ironically, led me to read a recent post by Kris where she talks about the same thing (premed married to a Doc listed on my side bar).

I'd like to think that my research portfolio could be applicable to many different cancers and because I find apoptosis and cell signaling particular interesting, that goal probably isn't out of reach. And while there is some overlap in how some cancers behave on a molecular level, there does seems to be cancer research "preferences" that essentially boils down to which cancers can get funded. Speaking of cancer, I'll be attending the NCI Health Disparities Meeting next week primarily out of sincere and obvious interest, but also in a last ditch effort to secure a position doing cancer health disparities research. Normally, I'm very optimistic but given all the false starts I've had in this regard, I'm not anymore. It just may be that I won't get to do the kind of cancer research I'm interested in until I get "Dr" in front of my name and that's cool. That's gives me that much more motivation to get this show on the road ASAP!!!!

Speaking of becoming a Doc, my physics prep is finally starting to come together. Of course, I've had to use 2 different test prep books and a college physics text, but that's okay. I'm just thrilled to be finally slaying this beast called Physics prep! And no, I won't get the first book done by tomorrow, but I'm happy with the progress anyway!

A whole lotta something to talk about

I guess I'm blogging a LOT these days, trying to enjoy what I feel are my last days of being unemployed. In fact, the "VERY difficult" interview I had last week I completely misread because not only have I heard from 2 of the folks I interviewed with that I did extremely well, it seems almost certain that they're close to making me an offer I won't be able to refuse. And the 5-10 minute commute to work is just an added bonus. So it's looking like I'll be going back to Big Pharma after all because: 1) We don't really want to move, not for a job/fellowship and 2) Doing a "practice run" of the commute pretty much KILLED the idea of commuting 90 miles one way for the next however long. An additional plus mentioned by the MAN who may be my next boss is that that will pay for my degree or cert in Bioinformatics and that they're currently building up the Bioinformatics division of this section of the company. We'll see, I'm STILL concerned about working with that ONE woman........................

Moving on, one of the required elements of the research I've chosen to do over the years is that it must in some way, address illnesses that are critical in the Black community or health disparities. So when I completed my first Master's degree, my thesis project looked at sickle cell anemia. My second master's thesis looked primarily at ER negative breast cancer cells lines, with ER negative cancers being far more likely in minority/Black women. Yesterday this realization, combined with the "clinical" turn my medical interests have started to have, led me to think long and hard about the field of Hematology/Oncology. Ironically, or maybe not ironically, when mentioning clinical medical specialties on my blog, all of them involve an IM residency except Preventative Medicine. Infectious Diseases, Neurology, and now Hematology/Oncology ALL involve an IM residency. So I'm pretty certain if I go the clinical route, IM is very likely be "it" for me.

That said, there's also a new Hospitalist who should get some credit for my new found interest in IM, she being otherwise known as Efex on oldpremeds and Mommd. Besides having an enormous amount of respect for her as former member of the military, wife and mother and now doctor, I've always appreciated her candor in talking about what a career in medicine is really like. And because I've been able to appreciate a good Hospitalist as a patient, I'd always respected her professional choices in an era when some people naively think that smart Docs ALWAYS considering positions "sexier" than Hospitalist. But then I've always wanted a research career too, so I figure I'd have to find something within IM that could potentially "work" for me research wise too.

Right now, there doesn't seem to be a better clinical choice for me that IM/Hem/Onc. My already strong background in cancer research would be an obvious plus but my research portfolio could also include Hematology/sickle cell disease too. I don't know how realistic that kinda of research pursuit could be, but from what I already know of both cancer and sickle cell disease there's definitely some room for overlap, besides the fact that some researchers often do look at more than one disease, like the advisor I did the sickle cell project with. Topped off with my pathology and hospice experience, this would again just be another significant plus to my consideration of IM/Hem/Onc.

Okay, I'm going come back down to earth now because I realize I'm getting waaaayyyyyy ahead of myself. But the prospects in Hem/Onc certainly look pretty darn good from a premeds perspective!

Finally, one quick blurb about my MCAT prep. Following in the spirit of me being "all over the place", I decided to take the next few days to wrap up the book one of the TBR Physics review instead of finishing up Biology, and expect to have it complete by Sunday (which I hope isn't wishful thinking). Once again, I think because I focused so intensely on verbal first, this section which has previously been VERY difficult for me, is now so much easier, if easier can be used in the same sentence as the word Physics, LOL!!!! At any rate, I'll be about 50% done with my MCAT review (yeah, I should be further along by now), having found it much easier to just study whatever topic I feel like studying for that week. Whatever works is what I always say, though finding what would work for me wasn't the easiest thing in the world!

No rhyme or reason

And this is the theme for my MCAT study of late. Sure, I've been pretty consistent with studying on a regular basis, but it's kinda been all over the place, as I tend to be sometimes, LOL!!! Put another way, I was REALLY starting to burn out with doing passages, having done too many to count (and doing well of course), so now I'm going to focus more on content type rather than test taking strategies. And I should finish up my Bio review over the next week or so.

Interestingly, a couple recurring themes started to emerge as I started to burn out with practicing passages. My math skills needed some serious rehab. I miss problems not because I don't know/understand the question, but I'm ether rushing reading the answer choices or I'm not paying enough attention to the passage, question stem, or answer choices. And finally, I tend to forget that 75% of what I need to know to answer the questions are in the passage.

OTOH, I am rather enjoying myself with my prep, especially when I can recognize tricky questions and this boosts my self-esteem and motivation, which by all admission, has been a struggle this spring/summer. But I've thankfully got PLENTY of sources of both inspiration and motivation from my readers and from the blogs of other women/mothers/wives crazy enough to embark on this journey with serious "baggage" in tow!

Interesting week

Last week was pretty much the most stressful week I've had in a VERY long time. It started with a pretty serious health issue (flares causing MAJOR problems) and ended up with me saving a woman's life at the closing ceremony of my daughter's engineering camp.

So lemme see where do I begin......I guess I'll start with the interview from holy hell.

There's a part of me that regularly asks myself why, KNOWING that I HATE the political atmosphere of working in big pharma, in the hell do I continue to subject myself to such foolishness by interviewing for gigs in Big Pharma? Between the fact that 2 out of 8 interviewers were horrific (and female, surprise, surprise) and there was a question on the job app about having been dismissed/fired from a previous employer, I'm NOT sitting by my phone waiting on them to get back to me with any positive news. They harped on my dismissal a LOT, not to mention one of the interviews (horrific female) had had a terrible working relationship with a guy I knew from the place I'd been fired from. And he and I got a long great, so great that he recommended me for the job where I eventually became lab director. So I'm thinking it's crystal clear she hated this guy I liked very much, so we probably won't be able to work together. Of course, I'd already determined that since she was so mean and hateful when she interviewed me. At any rate, I'm certain God has something better out there for me than this.

Which brings me to the really great news, I'm being considered for a fellowship with the Feds in Bioinformatics and while it's not cancer related, it's a solid job with a great organization. And they'll pay for me to get my Bioinform degree or certificate too. Unfortunately, it's a clearance type position so if I'm offered the opportunity I won't be able to speak much about it. The downside is that we'd have to consider moving since the commute would be 1.5 hours, but for a great opportunity, I think I could make it work commute or not.

Finally, I had the shock of a lifetime when at the closing ceremony of my daughter's camp, a woman needed emergency medical care. Not only was I the only person in a room of about 70 people who knew what to do, no one stepped up to help me at first. Ironically, I'd been sitting between this woman and a PhD during the program and it's funny what insignificant things you remember in an emergency. I suspected the woman was having a seizure since she was foaming at the mouth and at 200+ pounds, I had a VERY difficult time getting her to the floor BY MYSELF, so I could place her on her side and clear her airways as much as possible. I'm screaming for people to come help me, most of the people appear frozen in fear, and finally a man comes to help me keep her on her side.

Then the PhD I'd been sitting next to, runs up from across the room and says "I'm a Doctor", to which I respond "what took you so long to get over here"!!! She then says "we need to give her sugar and elevate her feet". WHAT?!?!? My non interested in medicine 14 year old knows you NEVER place ANYTHING in the mouth of a person who appears to be having a seizure/choking!! And I'd remembered seeing the woman eat fruit earlier, so I was pretty sure low glucose was NOT the issue. I shouted back to her "no, she could choke", and proceeded to do my best to keep her on her side with her mouth slightly open so the mucous could drain out.

So as the man and I are doing our best to keep her on her side, I hear someone talking to 911 saying that they think the woman just passed out and that she sounds like she's snoring. Snoring?? SNORING?!?! These types of incorrect assessments probably cost MANY people their lives!!! If the 911 operator thinks they're dealing with a drunk who passed out, they're NOT going to be in a rush to send help!!! Of course, I can't be by her side and talk to 911 at the same time, so I ask someone else to call 911 and tell them that the woman is starting to become cyanotic/turn blue and to get over here ASAP!!!! Still, I think it must have taken the ambulance 30+ minutes to get there.

When I arrived at the ER with the woman's daughter, she was in stable condition and because no other family members had arrived, I lied about being the woman's sister. I took the daughter back to the area where her mother was, then called the woman's mother to let her know what tests had been done, what her condition was, and that she was okay. The final diagnosis was seizure just as I suspected.

Right now, I don't know what I'm most in shock about. The fact that a PhD "doctor" could have killed this woman by putting something in her mouth, the fact that people really do get brain freeze in an emergency, the fact that despite all the public service announcements people don't know basic CPR/life saving techniques, or the fact that it took too damn long for the ambulance to arrive.

However, this is a strong reminder of why we need more Black folks in medicine. The "doctor"/PhD and I disagreed on whether or not the patient was cyanotic because cyanosis looks DIFFERENT in people of color than in white folks. This is also how I caught the fact that my daughter was jaundice at birth, a fact missed by both my Ob/Gyn and the Peditrician. It also isn't lost on me that perhaps a reason no one came to help the woman was because it was assumed she was a drunk black woman, hanging out at an engineering camp for girls. (yeah, I'm being sarcastic here).

Due in large part to this situation, whatever hesitation I had about my path to med school is probably permanently squashed. And while I have NO illusions about going into ER medicine ( I peed catecholamines for 5 hours straight afterwards), I do feel more compelled than ever to be a Clinician of one sort or another overing becoming a Pathologist.