New Year's Eve Resolutions!

Here are my top 10 for the new year:

1) Make a strenuously, concerted effort to not "play" with other folks' "crap", LOL!!

2) Complete at least 2 courses toward my PhD in Health Informatics.

3) Retake the MCAT!!!

4) Volunteer in a patient care setting.

5) Love MORE!!!

6) Argue LESS, LOL!!!

7) Visit family and friends in Florida.

8) Make progress toward building my side business.

9) Finish my personal statement for med school.

10) Continue to live life to the fullest extent possible!

HAVE A SAFE AND BLESSED NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! LOVE YA! MUAH!!!!

Selective humanity

I should probably try to copyright this phrase because I think it will become popular one day. But today, it's my two word phrase for the country's reaction to the killings that occurred at an elementary school in Connecticut, where 26 children were brutally murdered. Selective humanity.

When I was 14 years old, my best friend was brutally murdered in her home across the street from mine, in what has remained a 30 year old "cold case". About a week after she was killed, a white 14 year old girl was also killed and her case was solved almost immediately. And though authorities had to look through 20 miles of forest to find her body, they not only did that, they found the murder weapon AND her killer. All in a week. Selective humanity.

And for the record, my friend's death was NOT a case of "no snitching" stupidity popular among some Black communities because: 1) I lived in an integrated community which consisted of lower income whites and middle/lower income Blacks. IMHO, the police simply didn't see it as a big enough issue to pursue it. At least that's what I thought at the time and still think today.

So when I watched the news about the tragedy in Connecticut, I immediately thought about my friend, then I thought about the record number of children killed in cities like Philly, Chicago, and DC. Then I thought to myself, maybe NOW someone will give a damn about ALL the kids in America killed due to gun violence this year.

Selective humanity.


*Images from Google image gallery. The young lady in the senior portrait photo is Phylicia Barnes, whose body was found 4 months after her disappearance from Baltimore, Maryland in 2011

"If it's important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse. "

So it seems this is the theme of my life these days as it relates to getting on a health disparities research project using bioinformatics tools. I'll have to somehow find a way, and that way will likely require a move. Or I'll have to chart a different path toward this goal. Unfortunately, moving right now is COMPLETELY out of the question for a number of reasons not the least of which is that I'm not gonna' make my kid start at a new high school for part of her junior year and all of her senior year. Outside of something urgent like a REQUIRED move, I'm just not gonna' do it. It's also likely that I'll have to move for med school so that could potentially be 2 moves in as many years. Again, not even a slight consideration at this point.

In the meantime my side tutoring gig is really taking off so it looks like for now, tutoring combined with teaching at a local university, is going to be my temporary career focus. And I'm actually kinda glad about it because I get to meet lots of different people and also reinforce my science knowledge. So much so, that I've made a BIG decision where this is concerned and I've decided to retake the MCAT late next summer. I'm absolutely sure that I will FINALLY crack that 30 score I've been reaching for for years given the subjects I regularly tutor. And I'm also a little concerned that for some schools, my last score may expire (I took it in 2011), so this way my bases are fully covered. Yeah, I know it's kinda crazy on one level, but I feel very good about this decision.

Speaking of decisions, I attended the national health disparities meeting on Monday and had to literally drag myself to go. While I strongly believe that social and behavioral factors contribute to health disparities, I was very disappointed at the amount of basic science information presented either in the form of posters or presentations. And for me, this means that a very big piece of the health disparities puzzle is missing. A BIG ASS PIECE!!! Anyway, this combined with my inability to find a local health disparities fellowship project has me very discouraged. That said, if I were IN medical school or IN a PhD program, I'd have a TON of metro DC options. So......................

I signed up to be a volunteer at a local health department serving an underserved population and I can't wait to begin in January!!! I realized more then ever that I NEED to be around more people people, while using my background in the medical sciences and since I don't have the opportunity to do it on a research project, I'll find another way that probably better suits my personality anyway! I'm hoping to work in a clinic with other health professionals as I did many years before, but I'm also open to working in epidemiology too. Ironically, the woman that recruits volunteers asked me if I were interested in a full-time position and I'll look into that too. But for now, I'll be happy to volunteer in this underserved area while earning a living as a tutor and Adjunct Professor!!!

Bottom line, I WILL find a way to get my "health disparities" on and poppin!

Career of confusion!!!!

Imagine seeing a Black woman running down the street screaming madly as if her life is in danger. Now imagine her being chased by a microscope. Can you picture that? Well that's exactly how I'm feeling these days.

So it turns out that one of my recent job interviews has pretty much amounted instead to an offer to do something pathology related because "You're a such GREAT fit for this job". Again, let me preface this by saying that I'm VERY thankful for options when so many people have limited ones. But Pathology.......again.... are you serious? And exactly what does this all mean???



Honestly, I don't think I've ever been as temporarily "career confused" as I am right now, and by that I mean I know I'm ultimately applying to med school. But what to do in the meantime has been a continuous source of frustration for me. I just can't tell which direction I need to be focused in right now. What I do know is that what I really want to do, Informatics work, hasn't panned out yet and that sitting on my arse all day isn't an option. So maybe there's something to me doing non-lab, pathology related work again at this point and time? I don't know, but I'll be in deep prayer until I get an answer!!

Heard it all before........

The words which make up the title of this post are in a big R&B hit from about 11 or so summers ago. But it's the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about the students I taught this semester at a local university in thinking about their response, or lack of, to me giving them 2 additional days to submit their lab reports which are usually due at the end of class. I thought I was being nice, giving them more time to prepare the report because we all just received this lab paperwork minutes before class from my Supv where normally they'd have a week to read the upcoming lab. (That's yet another story...) And from the ones I'd read that finished early, they were pretty much all going to do very poorly. So I decided to give them more time with instructions to scan then email them back to me by yesterday at 5:00PM. Well, given that only 5 of about 18 students turned it in, I'd say that giving them more time didn't mean jack! And some of the excuses I heard were "normal" but a few were FAR beyond ridiculous:



I mean I KNEW some of them were just making up 'ish and all I could think is "is this the best you guys could come up with"?

Anyhoo, this experience has me seriously reconsidering returning to teach at this school next year. Honestly, I don't mind that this school doesn't attract the brightest students in the area. But what does bother me immensely is how much of a "slacker attitude" so many of them had about their studies. And that wouldn't be so bad if my worst evals hadn't come from these fools (per a snitch in the class, LOL!!). What I AM going to focus on are the 3 students who are now making preparation to become science majors, which is all time high for me with the pre-nursing students I've taught in the past. And the fact that they are all female and all but one is an underrepresented minority makes me especially happy!

Moving on, I'm behind again in my Python course but I'm not sweating that since my prof has allowed me to take things at my own pace (which I needed since I'm so NOT used to using whatever side of my brain computer scientists use because it sure as hell ain't the side scientists use). And I still find it fun when I finally solve a bug in a program so it's all good! :)

Other news is that I learned that the SKD (Sexy Korean Dude) from my last job in Pharma got screwed over big time by that bee-oytch of a director we all worked for in ways that left me with my mouth literally hanging open. And it was kinda sad to learn that because while in MANY ways he threw me under the bus to save his own ass, I never like to see anyone else getting treated like crap. But the fact that the others at his level pretty much ostracized him while I was there in combination with how poorly I was treated, should have sent a HUGE message to him that the same thing or far worse, could happen to him. BTW, why do people never think after watching a "Snake" bite someone else, that that same "Snake" couldn't bite them in the ass one day too? And when I say he got screwed I mean "elephant style" as in he doesn't have a reference for the 5 or so years he spent there publishing papers, the ONLY one at his level to do so. Funny thing is that his group was almost all URM, a fact I think in retrospect probably also sealed his fate (the groups led by "Skinhead Ken and Barbie" were notorious for doing random $hit to this guy and members of his group). Anyway, I hope he goes to work in Academia because he would make a terrific prof and if he does, I sincerely hope he learns a thing or two about loyalty to people who do excellent work for him.

As for my tutoring, it's going really well especially this time of year with folks gearing up for final exams. But I made a decision NOT to accept any clients for Ogro help because at this stage of the game, pulling out a miracle in this class is almost impossible. It's just not that kinda class. I've also decided not to home school either because quite honestly, that would take me in a professional direction away from medicine which I believe is my true calling. However, I'm very thankful to God for having me be all over the place career wise to this point, because in this economy, having a solid, well-paying fall back has truly been a blessing!!

Are YOU serious????

I knew when I started tutoring that it was just a matter of time before a student asked me to do their homework/test ect. In this case, it's more like their FINAL exam. So yes, I've had plenty of requests to help people with their homework to which I say to myself, if you want to pay this kinda money to help with homework, that's on you. But when a student at a TOP local university sent me their final exam to finish, I almost lost it:



Again, I realize that there are PLENTY of people who would do the work and take the money and run. But I'm clearly not "cut from that kinda cloth (as the old folks say)", otherwise I'd be in big pharma falsifying data and getting P.A.I.D. PAID!! And as a college professor, there's NO WAY IN HELL I'm EVER gonna' do another students homework!!! Now I could have been a b-oytch and ratted this student out to their professor, but that's not my style either. Instead, I nicely explained to the student that I'd be happy to help them after they FIRST attempted to answer the questions themselves and I would assist them from that point. But complete their final exam............... hell to the mofo NAW!!!!

Other happenings, I painted my fingernails black last week and got accused of acting too young by an old friend. Whatever, I think they look kinda cool and fit my personality to boot in terms of being edgy! I also set up a Skype account and that one, I've gotta' be real careful with! When a loved one frequently works out of town......well......I think you catch my drift. I'm really not trying to give Kim K ANY competition in the 40 and over sect, LOL!!!

Other really great news is that I found a local part-time PhD program that I'm interviewing for next week. Yeah, I'll be starting from scratch by not attending the school where I earned my most recent Master's degree. But the price is right and the part-time option is available, so I've decided to get this show in the road ASAP!!! Yes, I'm still planning to apply to med school for Fall 2014, but I can't help thinking that if I had done this say 7 years ago, I'd be DONE with the PhD part of my MD/PhD goal by now and at the NIH in some really cool post-doc program while I'm applying to med school. But that's water under the bridge, God clearly had another plan for me so I don't regret what I did do, though I wouldn't do it the same way if I had another chance!