Thursday, June 11, 2009

Finally, a start date!!

FINALLY, I got word late Thursday afternoon that my start date is June 15th!!! So my next post will undoubtedly be about the workings of a Pathology department run by the feds/military, and I'm certain it won't be anything like those found in industry!!!

Other things going on this Spring are that my niece is visiting and let's just say that's her visitis are always interesting. She a very pretty girl who for lack of a bettr way to put it, uses her looks to manipulate other adults. The consensus about her in the family is that most of my adult relatives can't stand her which I think is a bit harsh because she's just a kid (10 years old). She also extremely smart, probably the smartest kid in the family but she has a habit of letting you know just how smart she is. Funny thing that happens in my family is that every generation has two kids that others close to those two kids create kinda of a competition between them. So for my generation, it was me and my cousin Jennifer the triflin', fat cousin of mine that sits on her fat ass all day while her poor husband works his arse off. The thing is that Jennifer was gifted in school and I was not, so there really was no competition academically. She, with the significant help of her parents, graduated college as an Engineer in 5 years including internship year, whereas it took me 7 to get a degree in Religion and a minor in Microbiology (of course, I did flunk out and had to pay for my education after I loss my scholarship in my freshman year). While she was vacationing in Cancun during Spring break, I was working to make sure I had my expenses covered. In other words, it was a bit pathetic that folks in the family created this "competition" because the playing field wasn't anywhere equal.

Such is the case between my niece and my daughter, a competition created by my mother and my niece's grandmother (the 2 grandmothers are sisters). The thing is that my daughter couldn't care less about being better than anybody in anything, she's just cool and laid back like that (making her NOTHING like me in this regard, and very much like my husband). And in my mind, a "competition" between them is ridiculous because my niece while extremely gifted, she's attending a sub par middle school in the South, where as my gifted and talented kid is attending one of the best public middle schools in the state of Maryland. My nieces' parents are both addicts and unemployed, never been to college, live in neighborhood I don't visit in the daytime, so my niece is being raised by her grandmother.

But the biggest reason I'm so down on these "family competitions" is because in a lot of ways it set me up for failure. While folks in my family were going on and on about me and all my accomplishments at white colleges, another cousin of mine was quietly doing her thing at an HBCU, graduating with a double major, a 4.0 GPA, and Summa Cum Laude. She was making 6 figures before she turned 25 and was a homeowner by age 27. And this was a kid who wasn't on the families radar because she was such an under achiever in high school. In fact, I'd say that she was the biggest success story under 30 in my family (though I'd like her to have someone special to share it with).

I understand it's in a parents/family nature to brag a bit about how their kids are doing but I rarely get involved in these conversations. Over the years, I've found it too easy to watch the famly pump up a kid only to be disappointed, while ingoring another one who could have cured cancer on day. In other words, ALL kids in a family should be celebrated because they all have something special about them and with the right support, they can ALL do great things in their lives.

No comments:

Post a Comment