Thursday, May 26, 2011

God's plan and YOUR plan?

If I had to characterize my life so far, I'd say that my plan and God's plan, which I think is what your life ends up being, haven't always been on the same "page". Now don't get me wrong, I don't have ANY regrets about anything in my life but there are certainly a few things I would do differently if I could.

These days I'm much more contemplative than usual thinking about why a new, local cancer research fellowship opportunity hasn't come through yet (although a couple opportunities are available if I'm willing to move), then 2 things occur to me: 1) This is probably the worse time of year to be looking for one considering the fact that many of these positions were likely filled last year and 2) Maybe this isn't what God wants me to do right now.

You know when I really, really think about it, doing another fellowship seems like yet another subconscious attempt to find something to do other than med school. And I think the reason it hasn't worked out the way I want it to is because I don't need ANY "get a PhD instead" distractions to getting into med school, especially not now when my MCAT studying is going so well. At least, that kinda makes sense to me, LOL!! And the reality is that working in ANY other type of environment would NEVER be satisfying for me long term and would serve as a constant reminder that I'm counting down to entering med school in the Fall of 2013.

Which brings me to the fact that I'm being pretty heavily recruited my Big Pharma companies despite the fact that I'm not actively looking. At least I wasn't until a few days ago, and I've been interviewing ever since. Normally, that would be a good thing because I think I need a little more to do (and I almost can't believe I said that!! :)). And no I'm not talking about anytime soon, but certainly by July 1, I'm gonna need more to do! So I'm looking at a few positions and NONE in management. EVER AGAIN!!! And not surprisingly, I'm kinda restricting myself to work in oncology/cancer.

So, I guess I'm not sure if it's a good thing because it's not my number one choice for what I want in my life right now, and that's okay because I'm learning that things like this aren't a coincidence. And a count down to starting med school while making great money is as good a plan as any!!!


  1. Any scientific position would be a dream come true right now....I totally understand.

  2. Hi Path,

    I am following your posts very closely this summer as I am in a similar situation. The MCAT has been one big hurdle I hope to overcome soon... My question to you is this: If you are taking the MCAT this summer, why don't you apply this cycle? You never know God's plan may just be that... I have read your blog long enough to realize that you are a perfectionist like I am... and perfectionists are their own worst enemies...

  3. Hi Mi! You know, I think I've been "in my own way" for a while now, and having recently been faced with my fellowship packing up and moving to the midwest, I've really been thinking about what the bigger "message" is. So I think you're absolutely correct, now I have to decide what I'm going to do about it.