City of Racthedness/Where's a urinal when you need one?

I’ve been beyond busy which is probably a well played out broken record by now, but it’s the best kind of busy there is to be! First, I think we FINALLY found a house in a culturally mixed neighborhood and that’s the best news of all! Second, I made a cold call to a local bioinformatics start-up company and have an interview next week for an almost 6 figure job!!! Just out of the blue, I called them to see if they had anything and BAM…. JOB INTERVIEW!!!! On that note, I also have an interview for a bioinformatics position in the department where I’ll be completing my doctoral level courses in bioinformatics, and if I get offered both gigs, I’m going to have a VERY difficult time deciding between the two. The thing is, my job search experience hasn’t been that lucky, so I’m not really worried about that. But I DO have a preference among the 2 jobs, the position with the start up firm is my first choice.

So it turns out our new city/state with the best restaurants I’ve EVER experienced in a city, has a HUGE vagrant problem. And I mean as in I have been approached almost EVERYDAY I found myself in or around “da’ hood”…..or a major intersection. And they’re some bold mofo’s too and I say mofo’s because that’s what you are when you curse out a driver for refusing to roll the window down and give you some spare change. Now because I grew up near enough to “da’ hood” to understand and speak the vernacular VERY well, I didn’t mind rolling the window down to let you know just how well versed I am in ‘hood speak when I get cursed out for ignoring your coach purse carrying, brand new Michael Jordan shoe wearing, non vagrant asre, LOL!!

In other ratchet news, I stopped by a local family dollar in the serious “don’t drive in the daytime ‘hood” and it was quite a shopping experience. When we entered, we were greeted by an announcement that our actions would be watched for the entire time we were in the store. Mmmaky! Now I know how to morph into “hood posture” in these types of settings, but my kid has Bougie Black girl with NO ‘hood experience written ALL over her face! We shopped for a bit, gathered our items, then headed toward the front of the store so we could pay and leave, and as we walked up, we couldn’t help but hear the conversation the women working the cash registers were having:

Cashier 1 yelling: “Giiirrrlll, my man say I ain’t got NO titties, but I got enough ass to make up for it! Yeah, he always be picking at me, talkin’ ‘bout, I’m flat chested, but I KNOW I got it goin’ on with my fat ass”.

She then turns to me and says “May I help you Ma’am?

Cashier 2 yelling: Yeah, you ain’t got NO titties like me, mine big as hell!!

Cashier 1 yelling: “Dat’s a’right, I got’s more ass than you”.

Turning back to me, “Is this all you got Ma’am?

Me: "Yeah, ‘dat’s it. Can you ring me up?”

When we got outside my daughter was shaking her head and laughing, stating that that was the most ratched thing she had ever experienced, ROTFL!!! Now I won’t get into the “fronts” of these two women because I don’t want to be seen as picking at my “people”. But the 5 inch plaque looking like brown braces was so NOT a good look, ESPECIALLY when your weave is 3 feet long and "tight". My next thought was that I had NEVER seen underserved dental health like this. EVER. But then how many dental hygienist appointments could be had with 1 appointment to get the Korean silky special sewn into your scalp? Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmm.

And that was how our excursion into the Family Dollar located in “da hood” went. That “trip” was followed by a short drive to the city for dinner at a great Greek restaurant where on the way we saw a man, on a main street, urinating in the corner of a building. Now I’ve done enough volunteer work in “da ‘hood” to have seen and smelled a LOT of things. But the past 13 years where I live in uber suburbia, meant that I hadn’t seen much on such a regualr basis especially after I stopped working in Baltimore. But honestly, thinking about how varied and interesting my patient population would be, and how my desire to work in a severely underserved area would be more than met right where I’m living now, made me more excited about my med school goals.