Monday, August 13, 2007

"You will never be a Scientist or a Doctor"

I made the decision to change the title of my blog because I think my story could possibly give hope to someone else. And it's a story I told to students I used to tutor in classes I flunked and my students in the inner city middle school and high student where I used to teach.

Those fateful words were spoken to me by Dr.M Zerner while I was a premed student at the University of Florida taking Chemistry and they literally haunted me EVERY time I took a science test for YEARS. What he should have said was that "if you don't get you act together, you'll flunk out" or my favorite having tutored students in college, "what do you need to perform better in my class". Ironically, I wasn't the only student, black that is, that he said something similar too, but I didn't have the support needed to overcome this. I also didn't have the study skills or motivation either.

My plan after finishing graduate school near the top of my class was to show up at his office door with a copy of my diploma but by then, he was ill with colon cancer. Terminal colon cancer, so when he died shortly thereafter, I felt absolutely nothing. I just wondered how many other lives he negatively affected during his time here on earth.

Moving on, I've been under the weather lately thanks to a flare up of my asthma. Of course when your office is contaminated with mold and the ozone levels are high outside, it's almost impossible not to have a flare up. Clearly, things in this research gig aren't working out, a fact I've known since I as told to access patient data illegally which I didn't do. Well, it's all good. I was supposed to start my other research gig in my own department (pharmacology) this month anyway and I can't wait to get there! I LOVE doing research, designing experiments, reading journal articles, ect.

So thanks to being under the weather, my MCAT prep is VERY far behind. But since I'm going to be out until I get the asthma under control, I should be able to get caught up. Sometimes I think I don't function unless my back is against the wall, a habit I have to get under control. But I guess some people are adrenaline junkies!


  1. I am really inspired by your blog. I too am/was a black female scientist (32)... (also living in the DC-metro area!) who is now considering medical school. I am a wife and mother to a one year old. Needless to say, i am REALLY scared but people like you really help me out. Thanks

  2. Thanks Berry Suite! Send me an email if you'd like to meet. I'm going to need s study partner real soon!

  3. I haven't had a chance to read a lot of your blog yet, but what I have read has been so inspiring! So glad that you chose to not give up on your dreams. I look forward to seeing your journey unfold :-)

    1. Thanks for stopping by and reading, 7 years after I posted this, I'm still on the MD/PhD track!