Sunday, December 2, 2007

Last goodbyes

From an emotionally standpoint, this semester has been one of the hardest in my life. While I was home in Ga last month, one of my Aunts on my Dad's side of the family passed away. Her death was somewhat expected since she suffered with complications from diabetes and Alzheimer's. But I noticed that my favorite Aunt whom I've always referred to as "Auntie" since I was a little girl, didn't look well and when you've worked around sick people as much as I have in my life, you get a sort of "sixth sense" about people when they are ill. So at the repass for my deceased Aunt/her sister, I boldly went up to her looked her straight in the eye and told her that I wanted her to tell me what was wrong with her health wise by the time I returned for the Christmas holidays. Unfortunately, I won't get the chance to find out what issue was because as I type this note, she is brain dead from a massive stroke she had last Wednesday.

As is usually the case in these situations, my mother the retired ARNP was called by the family and it was her who gave me the update on her prognosis. However, with my father/her brother having suffered a stroke, as well as losing both parents and a sister to strokes, I didn't need to speak to the doctor to have an idea about what the prognosis was. At these moments besides the great sadness I feel, I simply wish people would stop smoking cigarettes, I conversation we'd had many, many times in the years following my Dad's stroke and subsequent death from colon and prostate cancer. I also end up wishing the most deadly forms of cigarettes, methylated, weren't targeted to the black community. But I guess that's all moot now, I simply wait for the phone call that tells me once again that December which is the month my Father died 6 years ago, will never be quite the same. Still I'm thankful that my last words to her were " I Love you Auntie".

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