So this past Monday, we buried my favorite Aunt on my Mother's side and let me just say that the circumstances surrounding her death are by far the strangest and most hurtful I've EVER dealt with!! She was initially declared dead the previous Wednesday as in coded by a Doctor, family was informed, funeral home informed/date set, D-E-A-D. But by the time I was able to reach my Mom 4 hours later, she was alive and well and breathing on her own!!!! WTF is this?????
I haven't asked those who were there what happened because I knew damn well that my Aunt had specifically requested a DNR notation be added to her chart. And I know I couldn't have this conversation without going off on someone!!! What I do know having studied death and dying as a Religion major many moons ago, is that the living can make things unnecessarily difficult for those who want to die with dignity and peace. My Aunt had been a 46 year cervical cancer survivor which is pretty much unheard in the Black community, especially given how primitive cancer treatment was in the 1960's. So why someone thought she needed to be resuscitated against her wishes and allowed to suffer from stage IV metastatic cancer for another 2 days is beyond me!!! What I can tell you is that I haven't yet come to terms with the entire ordeal, as if I'm expecting someone is going call again and tell me that she's really alive again (of course, I know that isn't really going to happen). But for a few hours after I heard she was alive again, I like many other family members, WAS praying for a miracle.
As anyone probably expects, things were pretty tough for me this past week and I feel like I have an emotional tired that's going to take a LONG time to go away. But I know I have to keep moving forward because life is always going to have sad times and setbacks that come up every now and then. And as is always the case when things like this happen, the result for me is to live the best life possibly and refortify my determination to stick to my professional plans if for no other reason than because I'd rather die trying to achieve a goal, than die having let fear prevent me from trying!!!