Monday, July 18, 2011
Angry Black woman no more???
FYI, I've changed my "name" to Doc201X to reflect the fact that I appear headed toward a TBD clinical medical speciality to be combined with a research career.
Now I know I've blogged about this before, but feel that because I'm entering a new mindset professionally, I'll speak about it again to put this issue to rest.
There are a couple events which occurred during my previous tenure as Director of Histopathology and Pathology Lab Manager over the past 2 years, that will forever change who I am as a Scientist and future Physician (and because the internet isn't all that anonymous, I choose to wait until now to discuss it with more specific details):
1) Having an employee that works for me throw her timesheet on my desk when she thought I wasn't looking (Eggplant).
2) Being regularly screamed at by a colleague (Physically "challenged", raggedy mouth DVM/PhD).
3) Not being put on committees other lab director's were on.
4) Having my choice of whom to hire to work for me, vetoed on BOTH jobs as Director and Lab Manager.
Now I've seen Black women in charge in Scientific/Medical settings all of my collegiate/professional life but I had NO IDEA just how much $hit they had to deal with every day that is, until I got a little "power" myself. So not long after I resigned this past March, I went to see every Black woman I knew who was in a position of power and asked them why da' hell they didn't warn me, LOL!! And they all pretty much laughed (at my naivety I suppose), LOL!!!
I've also wondered why so many Black woman in power seemed so cold and icy, and now I know it's a survival mechanism, even though cold and icy isn't my personality nor could it ever be. But I have learned how to be Kimberly, doing my best to remain and maintain a cool as a cucumber disposition at ALL times and I can admit it took me a minute to "get over" just how bad I was treated on my last gig. What I know for sure as a Black woman is that anger, even the perception/misperception of anger, is a career killer, no matter how justified she may be in her feelings. And I'm thrilled to feel like I've got that in check, FINALLY!!
What do the people say, "No weapon formed against me shall prosper"? You'd better believe it!
PS- This post doesn't in ANY way change the fact that I will NOT work for another woman between now and med school, LOL!!!