So we rush our beloved middle "child" AKA oldest cat to the ER this evening to have my worst feelings confirmed. Our cat has cancer and without treatment, may live 2 more weeks. With treatment and assuming it works, maybe a year.
Right now I don't know how I feel about cat chemo for what may be an additional 12 months? And exactly what would the quality of life look like in those 12 months? To even get to that stage, there are so many procedures they want to do and I'm pretty solidly in the "let the cat live as procedure free and comfortable as possible for whatever time she has left" camp. Of course, everyone in my family is looking for me to make the final call given my experience with hospice, cancer research, and volunteer work with cancer free, newly diagnosed, and current cancer patients. And on the one hand the pressure is tremendous but only because I'm dealing with crap on my job. I'm actually the only calm one in the house. Understandably, my daughter is absolutely heartbroken and we did discuss having the cat put to sleep to prevent her from suffering too much. And while this is a conversation NO parent wants to have with a child, the conversation itself feels familiar, as if it's something I'm going to have to do in my next career.....
And that brings about a sense of calm, rationality, and purpose.
PS - I've decided NOT to quit my job so if they want me out, they'll have to fire me! In the meantime, may the chips fall where they may, God has already set in place a golden parachute just for me!