Monday, December 16, 2013
DD: How do you have so much confidence in yourself?
Path201X: I actually didn't have much when I was your age because unlike you, I didn't have a Mother that believed in me the way I believe in you.
DD: So how did you get confidence anyway?
Path201X: Like I said before, I wouldn't say I had much in high school although I appreared to be very successful on the outside. And when I flunked out of college due to my grades, my confidence took a MAJOR dive! But what I was and still am very good at doing is surrounding myself with people who believe in me. Unforntualtely, that now means that there are people I don't regularly communicate with about my goals like my mother, but I've learned to be ok with that. It is what it is.
DD: But I need to know EXACTLY what you did to be so confident?
Path201X: I made up this little matra that I started repeating to myself after I was readmitted to undergrad after being kicked out of school. I would say to myself " My brain is a sponge and I will use it to absorb EVERYTHING I can. I'm smart and I'm capable of achieving ANY academic goal set before me. I am focused and will work hard to make sure that happens". And I would say this to myself over and over and over again just before exams and any other academic task. When you were little, do you remember me singing a song that went "you are sma-art"?
DD: Yes, I found it a little annoying at the time. Plus you still sing it to me every now and then.
Path201X: Well I did that because I wanted to have that instilled in you, that you could do ANYTHING you set your mind to. I know Senior year has been hard and you're disappointed you didn't make honor roll for the first time since you've been in high school. But when you're not feeling confident, just think about that song I used to sing to you. And maybe come up with your own too!
DD: Okay, I'll try that on my next exams.
And so my kid who had struggled more this year than in all the years of high school combined, is now on her way to making the honor roll at her new school. And obviously I'm VERY proud. But I can also admit that I STILL say my "confidence mantra" to myself pretty regularly and will ALWAYS do so when needed.
My hope is that you too will find that special something you say to yourself to give you that extra confidence boost! Or feel free to borrow mine!