Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Use of Logic

Just be beware to what is the logic of using ER- cells for tamaxifen or estrogen studies. These cells do not have ER.Why these drugs?

Before I elaborate on this statement made to me by the Post doc that's working with me, let me first say that my presentation went off without a hitch. I got some really good feedback although I was collecting data up until 30 mins before the start, but in the end it was good day with LOTS of great food!

Now about the previously mentioned statement, let me state without equivocation that I'm more strongly leaning toward focusing on medical school ONLY right now, than I've been in over 10 years. At 41, I'm simply exhausted with having to prove myself over and over and over and over and over again as if I've never conducted research before in my entire life! So if I say to someone that I plan to look into using estrogen receptor agonist and antagonists in cell lines that have no estrogen "receptor" (turns out there are more than was originally thought) then basic common sense should tell you that I must have read something in the literature that leads me to want to go in this direction. In other words, I don't pull research hypotheses out of my arse so a more "logical" question would have been, why do you want to use these drugs?

In light of the estrogen bruhaha, I can admit that there are a number of different issues with why after almost 2 years, I've NEVER been in a comfortable cancer research "zone" for long. And sometimes I think it's because after a successful stint at the NIH, my expectations for people are extremely high. In fact, I was kidded/warned by a few higher ups at the NIH about doing research at a certain school because of all the political "landmines". But hey, Imma turn a lemon into lemonade kinda gal so I'm thinking I'll be OK and I am and I will be. But I'm also now more motivated toward getting my MD ASAP and perhaps that's not a bad thing! Right now, I've seen more backstabbing, over aggressive competitiveness and professonal dishonesty recently than I've seen know I can't recall the last time I worked around a bunch of "professonally challenged" folks before in 20 years! In other words, I KNOW why so many folks choose MD over PhD (especially URM's)and why although I love doing research, my advice to ANY URM would be to get your MD and then do research so if you can't tolerate the low paying/opportunity BS, you can always be a Clinician instead. Of course, there are political landmines in clinical medicine too, but working with and helping people can sometimes "make up" for that, IMHO. Or maybe that's just it, at least that's what EVERYONE who knows me says, my personality is "under utilized" being in the lab because lab folks....... well lets' just say that they are a unique breed that my bubbly persona has often felt deflated by.

In other news, the fracture in my foot has healed but because I haven't let it rest as instructed by my doctor, I'm now dealing with nerve damage. So once again, I'm instructed to stay off the foot for an additional 4 weeks which is a real bummer. My second research project is just now starting to get off to a good start, but I'll have to figure out a way to get a few things done anyway.

Tell you what I have learned in the past year. Not everyone who initially comes off negatively is an enemy, and definitely NOT everyone who initially comes off like a friend is a REAL friend. I've also realize how much I miss interacting with patients/Clinicians and being in the clinic. All I know is that after 20 off and on again years, I'm sick and tired of dealing with it all the "stuff" in bench research (that is without the Dr title since people with it seem to enjoy it a little better when they are Dr), so bring on the MCAT in early June and Medical Physiology in mid June! The class of 2013 is in the hizouse!

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