You know the ONLY thing worse than a bully, is a bully with the heart of a chicken, LOL!! I twice requested to meet with Bully PI and I haven't received a response as yet. Figures!!!!
Earlier this week, I spoke to one of my personal/professional mentors whom I met while I was a predoctoral fellow at the NIH when she was a Resident. She earned an MD/PhD, with the PhD in Pathology from an Ivy League school, completed a residency in Anatomic Pathology, then promptly pursued a career in a nonclinical field for the Feds. She's also Black. In the course of a conversation with her earlier this week, she mentioned that her job in administration is 90% politics, 5% what she knows and 5% luck. Well I personally don't believe in luck, but I was amazed at how much she felt her position was skewed in the direction of politics. And due to my experiences as a lab director, I know exactly what she means now.
As I've said before, when I deal with these "issues", the first thing that comes to mind is medical school for reasons which I've already shared 1000X. It's not that I think I can avoid political situations by going to med school because not only is that a ridiculous thought but it's impossible to do when you work for someone else. I'm simply reminded of how hard my current path is and I can't shake the feeling that I'd regret not having earned an MD if I don't give it a 2000% try. I love what I do, but having an MD and being a Pathologist would allow me to take what I'm doing to another level because of my ability to make diagnosis. And THAT's what missing now, any finding I make has to be signed off by a Pathologist, a research Pathologist who just happens to also have clinical duties at the hospital and teach medical students. In other words, he has the job I REALLY want because the PhD will only train me to do 1 of those 3 things.
So all this flip flopping back and forth between earning a PhD/studying for the GRE, really only indicates one thing, and that is that I'm not 1000% committed to earning the PhD while working full-time at my current job. There's just far too many variables in both personalities and opportunities that any one change could send my dreams of earning a PhD down the drain. When you enter a PhD program, there is no "we're gonna make sure you get out" attitude among administrators like there is in med school which may explain why so many folks drop out of these programs. More than that, I think the stress of my job combined with the personalities I must work with would be too much to balance with a family, AND a rigorous PhD program.
In other words, if I gotta put up with $hit, imma do that while in med school. And with that said, I think I need to lysol down my MCAT physics review book because the cat was sitting on it...........