Sunday, April 25, 2010
I'm so d*mn tired!!! Urgh!!!!
This picture is the state I wish my life was in right about now, but alas 3 days before my first final exam, this image is ALL in my head. The image below is probably a more accurate depiction of where I'm at right now:
This must clearly be a "season of illness", because serious ilnesses have struck many people close to me. A close cousin is hospitalized after showing up in the ER with a 700+ glucose level, my sister-in law who refused her stage 3 cervical cancer treatment last summer, is now stage 4 and has deemed terminally ill, and my brother is still having severe gastrointestinal symptoms but refuses to return to the ER. In the middle of that, we're moving in the middle of next month and my mother is visiting next week. Yeah, I need Calgon to get me the hell outta here for a few days, LOL!!!
I decided to take the next 2 days off before my exam because it occured to me that I've sacrificed enough for my job to get little in return and since everyone is looking out for themselves, I'd better join the crowd. I still don't have any info about my fellowship whichis higly disappointing but I know that good things come in time, I just have to be patient. My final presentation is coming along well and I look forward to knocking it out of the park so to speak but given my poor performance on the first exam, I have a LOT to proove. And in a funny irony, I've still got med school othe radar despite my near exhaustion. In times like these, I think about all the interesting things I'd learn and with the constant realization of my soon to be empty nest, I just may end up with "real", live, patients too!! 25 years ago I always figured on a career at a health clinic and with my renewed interest in infectious diseases, I can easily see myself there again. An IM residency, followed by a fellowship in either Public Health or ID sounds better and better everyday!
Okay, back to studying the pathogenesis of Anthrax, Botulinum, Tularemia, ect, ect