Path's top 5 "What 'da ???" moments of late

It's that time again, my top 5 what 'da ??? list:

1) It's October and snowing in Metro DC today, what da'??? Id' probably better reconsider those schools north of the Mason-Dixon line!

2) According to AAMC I had less than a 5% chance of improving my MCAT score from where I started to where I happily ended up. What 'da??? (Hard work THAT's what, LOL!!!)

3) My youngest "child" keeps peeing on my daugthers bed! What 'da ??????, she's gonna end up "homeless" = taken to the shelter, because I've just about HAD IT!!!!!!

4) As required for my R stats course, I COMPLETELY forgot what exp (x) means. What 'da ????, I'd better break out the basic math book!

5)I learned on the Oldpremeds website yesterday that certain med schools are finding ways to slickly reject oldpremeds by giving the tired 'ol excuse and I paraphrase, "I don't think certain oldpremed applicant understands the implications of the debt they need to incur to complete med school". Translation, I don't think your old arse if gonna work long enough to pay off your student loans, so What 'da f???

A hard head makes for a soft behind..............

Or so my grandmother used to say! I had to leave work early today because I wasn't felling well and this latest not feeling well episode is a little scary for me.

Scary because this nagging pain in my side has been there for about 5 years, through 2 surgies and it's STILL there. At any rate the pain is pretty bad now so I've finally decided to suck it up and get it checked out tomorrow. Obviously, I'm hoping it's nothing too serious as in will not require a surgical fix and given my research background and family history the unknown is pretty darn scary!

Jobwise things are okay, but I think I've FINALLY had enough of lab work so I'm taking an R stats class on line so I can apply for other jobs more in the bioinformatics realm. I also went ahead and formally applied to the position at my old job (an even better fitting one became available), but now that I think I'm done with the lab, I don't know if I'll really follow through with the interview process or not. Actually, I think I'd like to stay with the company I'm currently with because the benefits are amazing and quite frankly I'd REALLY like to stay put in the same place until med school. The idea of changing companies again just isn't something I feel up to doing right now due to the economy and the stress of starting over, even if it is with folks I used to work for and still know.

Well this is it for now! Have a great weekend everyone!

Hell week(s), Big Pharma Style!!

Anyone familiar with the sorrority/fraternity college experience is probably also familiar with the hazing "pledges" or future new members must endure in order to join. Hence the reason that despite numerous generations of sorrority/fraternity members in my family including my mother who's an AKA, I've never pledged (but more because I'm too likely to whup some butt if push upon the wrong way).

So with 2 weeks to go on my job before I'm no longer on probation and officially a "permanent" employeee, the interview killer is really starting to step up her "hazing" game. To the tune of harassaing me EVERY SINGLE DAY about the most mundane of things (you left the cap off your pen on your lab bench and it's leaking ink, kinda 'ish). Now it wouldn't be so bad if I had an office and she came to me with this nonsense, but she frequently does it with an "audience" of my fellow collegues, 5 of whom sit within a few feet of me (and are essentially "in" my conversations too). So because I easily recognized what she was doing, I'd chosen to ignore her and do my best to keep it moving until one day she got especially nasty with me and when she walked off, a couple of the folks who sit near me made comments about it. Now I've obviously gotten used to working alongside idiots these 4 or so years since I left the NIH, so I'd developed a somewhat efficient method of dealing with them by saying little or simply ignoring them. But this b*tch humuliated me in front of our collegues and that wasn't gonna work! And all over the missspelling of one person's name in a database?

So after many weeks of this and with other strange things happening with my experiments, I finally decided to casually mention it to my supv earlier in the week and when I walked in his office to tell him I had something we needed to discuss, he immediately said "Please don't tell me you're quitting because you're doing such a GREAT job"! Not only that, his boss continues to extol the good job I'm doing which in one way is great, but I also think is partially at the source of the grief the interview killer (ICK for short)is constantly giving me. Later in the week, ICK esculated her "game", and seeing that my patience was starting to run REAL thin, I decided to make a more formal complaint with my Supv (so much for flying under the radar until my probation is up). Now normally I'd be pretty comfortable with finally acknowledging what my Supv and others are clearly aware of at this point in my tenure with this company. But he also mentioned the fact that it doesn't help either of us for one of us to constantly complain about the other. And since this was only my second time even mentioning anything to him about her, I can only assume she's had a LOT more negative crap to say about me than I was originally told by him. However, there's not a damn thing I can do about what SHE says/does and who she says it to (and apparently she's gone to HIS boss too, the guy who's always complimenting my work). They are either going to believe it and let me go like the last lady she black balled out the door, or keep me around and finally nip this cow in the bud! And at this point, Kay sa ra, sa ra!!!! Anyhoo, according to my collegues, this woman played a significant role in why the woman I replaced didn't make it to her 90 days and was fired, a concern I shared with my Supv on Friday (I'd also worked with a man she worked with previously at this company and who also feels she's the reason he was fired). So basically, Ick has demonstrated at least 2 times her ability to get rid of people she doesn't like and from the moment we met at my interview, I'm one clearly one of those people.

And this brings me to the caption of this post, I'm close to being permanent and being "challenged" all the way to the finish line, in a hazing/pledging kinda way! Regretfully, I decided NOT to apply to the job at my old gig, so quiting this gig isn't even a consideration. Neither is loosing my cool, so I'll simply have to come up with ways to get my job done while circumventing Ick. All that said, circumventing a person who loudly approaches you with stupidity while you're sitting in your cubicle will likely prove FAR more challenging and it will be real interesting to see if I can do that with out giving her the tongue lashing she so rightfully deserves!

Moving on, I've pretty much spent EVERY night since I got my scores back reading information about the various med schools I'm considering applying to. And this has been a LOT of fun because my research on schools also includes looking at real estate in the local area, high schools, cost of living and other things. Of course, all this "research" means that Cali is probably out! Well maybe, the cost of living on one hand seems similar to my current situation in Metro DC but on the other hand, when I look at how many people live within one square mile, it seems PACKED with people! So I told my daugther who has been begging me for years to visit Cali, that we're going take our spring 2012 break in southern cali! While there, I'll also talk to a few med schools and look at areas to live just in case. I also forget that I was recently asked to interview by a company in northern cali but declined, so the job market in Big Pharma is pretty darn good!

You know when I think about all the hell I've dealt with these past few years on the job, perhaps a serious change in environment should at the very least be seriously considered! The worst thing that could happen is that we move back to the east coast after a 1 or 2 year stint and isn't living life with ALL it's twists and turns, what REAL living is all about???

The MCAT, revisited

I guess it was the realization that I had a 10+ improvement in my MCAT score from the first time I took it in 1992 until this past Sept. 2011 which has prompted this post. Now as crazy as it sounds, the teens score I got the first time was a bit of a fluke in the sense that I'd NEVER thought it accurately reflected my intellectual abilities on the test (which was FAR easier than the current version), as much as it said how dumb an idea it was for me to party almost all night long, then try to take the MCAT first thing the next day.

What I think this 10+ improvement DOES say is that anyone who puts in the time and effort CAN improve their score. SIGNIFICANTLY!

Now anyone who's read my blog over the years knows that my retaking the test was more about wanting to improve my testing taking skills than it was that I hadn't scored well enough to be admitted to medical school. And the thought that thumped in my head constantly like a migraine headache was that the "cut off" MCAT score where folks I knew and knew of seemed to have trouble passing their USMLE's was around the same as I had previously scored. So I decided that not passing the USMLE's on the first try was completely unacceptable and if it meant taking the MCAT 15 times to master test taking BEFORE med school, that's what I would do........actually I'm not so sure about the 15 times, LOL!! Bottom line I was committed to "fixing" what was broken if for no other reason than to prove to myself that I could conquer the beast of an exam!

So how did I do that? Well, here's what I did:

1) I NEVER, EVER gave up on the idea that I could improve my score.

2) I used the time I had off from working to study for the exam. This is a critical and often neglected step of nontrads, minorities and anyone else who needs money and is no longer on their parents payroll. I absolutely, positively believe that 100% dedicated MCAT study time is best if you can manage it!

3) I invested ~ $700 in study materials, again another important factor many folks often can't realistically do.

4) I focused more on why I got problems wrong than anything else, which was closely followed by studying why my right answers were right.

5) I did HUNDREDS of passages, relating to #3 on the list.

6) I treated my science passage like verbal passages, and started my study off with verbal first, dedicating more time to that area overall than the science areas.

7) I stayed the hell away from that very popular premed website for reasons which are obvious to anyone who has been on that site. A bunch of neurotic 20 year olds is FAR from my kinda company at least in the premed stage of the game! Of course I was banned for being just a tad too outspoken, so that wasn't very hard to do, LOL!!!

8) I did at least one passage almost everyday even if that was all the MCAT prep I did that day.

9) EVERYWHERE I went I had some study materials with me so any spare time I had or if I ended up in a coffee shop for an extended period of time, I could easily pull out a book and review. This included things like doctor's visits, my kid's tennis tournaments, getting the car repaired ect.

10) Finally, I ALWAYS believed I could improve my score!!!!

So why the reiteration of points 1 and 10? Because I believe the right attitude is a must in prepping for this exam. And if you believe you can do well and throughly prepare, well is EXACTLY how you'll do!!

Going back to Cali?

Most folks who know me don't know I'm originally from Cali because I lost that Cali flavor the moment the plane landed hot, humid Florida in the mid 70's. My parents are both 60's grads of UC-Berkeley, so the unspoken rule when I finished high school, was that I was to attend Stanford (which neither could afford to attend).

So imagine their disappointment when I not only matriculated at a barely known southern state university but proceeded to flunk out 3 years later. His statement to me and I quote was "You only attended University of ???, so how did you manage to flunk out"?. My Mom followed suit with "we could have sent the dog to flunk out of college", so needless to say maybe it all makes perfect sense why I'm partially obsessed with post high school education, LOL!!!

Anyhoo, right around the time my kid decided that she wanted to study geology/earthquake engineering, she did some research and found that the obvious best place in perhaps the world to study such a subject is Cali. For her though, it's USC she's interested in which is the strangest coincidence in the world! Once upon a time I also wanted to attend USC just to be in their band (and get a great education too), but it's a fact VERY few people know! And one I'd never shared with her. And in probably NO coincidence, her best friend also wants to attend USC and has wanted to do so for almost as long as I've known her.

Now every premed in the world knows getting admitted to a state school in Cali is hard, the hardest in the US! But I haven't rested my goals with MD programs in Cali, I'm also interested in DO programs too which are likely just as competitive.

At any rate, in the days since I've received my scores, I've opened my mind to the possibility of attending ANY school in the US and have narrowed down my places to apply to those on the coasts only. I've got a new found interest in beaches and it's simply something I'm not willing to compromise on at all. And hopefully, I won't have to as there are plenty of schools in all 3 tiers located near the ocean.

My daughter, the lover of 80's music that she is, has been singing the song in this post for the past couple days. The question is, is she trying to tell me something, LOL????

A beautiful day in DC!!!!!

Today my daughter and I visited the MLK memorial and what a beautiful day it was to do a little sightseeing in DC! Traffic to the site was a nightmare (as usual) but we managed to walk about 1.5 miles during our visit, with me in 2.5 inch boots! We took a moment to sit close to the MLK statue where we took this picture, and to reflect on a man that only lived to be 39 years old, but made such tremendous contributions to the civil rights movement. And it was emotional to reflect on the fact that he essentially gave his life so that I may have an opportunity to be the most educated Black person I know degree wise, LOL!!!

So how has my week been post MCAT scores? Pretty exciting I've gotten some great feedback for admissions to MD programs but some not so great news as it relates to the MD/PhD. In other words, it's been suggested by one med school dean that I retake the MCAT to get a score competitive for MD/PhD admissions, to which I immediately reply (to myself), hell-to-da-naw!!! The problem with my score besides the fact that I already know it's NOT competitive for MD/PhD programs, is that it's in that range where it's FAR more likely my scores going down rather than up if I retake, and the question I ask myself is, do I really need to push my luck? Honestly, I think we already know the answer to that. I'll just have to get more creative to do both degree programs, like applying separately to both while informing each program of my ultimate plans. And since I already know I can get NIH money to fund the combined program, I have a hard time believing a program would say no, though I also know they may believe I'm hedging my bets in case I don't get admitted to med school. However, after 6 years of talking about MD/PhD I think it's safe to say that I'm committed to both programs even though I'm 45 years old. And as I've said many, many times before, it's well past time for me to stop listening to folks who don't support my ultimate plan, however foolish they think it is.

On to work, my job situation is as tenuous as ever as the interview killer tries more creative ways of trying to make me look bad in from of our Supv. And I won't bore you with the details, suffice it to say that the only person she's really hurting is her big a** self! I also had my 60 day review and it was perfect, I'm very pleased. However I'm EXTREMELY disappointed in his decision to hire a PhD trained in pathology methods. When I was interviewed and up until about a month ago, I was told that I would do a lot of what they are looking for this PhD to do. And because he purposely added the stipulation that a PhD has to fill it, my personal take is that the opportunity to accuse me of trying "to be the pathologist/PI" on the project is slowly coming to an end. Now for what they're paying me, you'd think I'd be okay with this but I'm not. He's introducing another person to the group who I'll have to answer to about how I plan/execute my experiments and I'm "not feeling" that in the least. At this stage of my career, I'm used to people trusting my expertise, irrespective of education level. I'm also very concerned about working with another woman for reasons you can read about on previous posts, LOL!!! But mainly, I've invested over 150K in my education and I really like to use it! So this means that I'm on the hunt again, since I'd never be satisfied in a position where I don't get to use my brain a lot no matter how much they're paying me!

That said, this latest job situation has made me much more determined to return to school ASAP so that I won't ever again NOT be able to have a job I want because I don't have enough education!

BELIEVE THAT!!!!!!!!

MCAT's are in and.....................

............I've recorded my HIGHEST score ever!!!!!! Not only that, but my highest score was on the PS section of the test!!! Physics? Kicked its a**, LOL!!!

Now please allow me a few days to come out of the clouds long enough to write coherently, LOL!!!!

Path201X exits doing the running man, ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!

Who's fighting your battles?

So this past week on my gig we had a poster competition, while my division swept the awards, no one from my group won an award. But when your primary job is to supply research support to others in your division, it's pretty impossible to win (though the ones who did very proudly displayed work from your group, LOL).

This past week was also remarkable in that the interview killer now seems very involved with my work assignments, and let me be real, I DO feel some kinda' way about it. Not because she doesn't have a college degree and not because she doesn't understand much about the science of what's she's doing. I've got a big problem with it because rumor has it that she was very involved with why the last person who worked in my position left.

Not long ago, I'd been told by one of the senior folks in our division to "play the game", which pretty much involved me taking more breaks and having lunch with her and the other people in my group of 4. My motto was "keep your friends close and your enemies closer", and that "worked" for about a week and a half. Then it slowly started occurring to me that I'm no more in a position to fight the "devil" than I am to lift the building I work in, so why had I decided to play a game I can't win?

Now I can easily concede that being friendly with the people you work with is a smart career move. But this witch clearly has it out for me (see previous post) so the idea of spending a lot of my time off with her makes me nauseous. So I'm going to change that and not just because she suggested being a Med Tech would be a great career move for me during a conversation we were having about careers on a break last Friday (and since she interviewed me and has seen my CV, I think I'm correct in assuming she was trying to be funny and not in a "ha ha" kinda way. Not only that, I USED to be a Med Tech in the 90's). So besides all her other "insecurities" with working with me, she's now sweatin' the fact that I scored the highest in our group during the poster competition.

So this is where I rely on my faith, with the clear understanding that it's not my job to neither fight enemies nor spend an enormous time worrying about it. I'm gonna stand tall in my faith in God's bigger plan for my life and keep it movin'!

Which brings me to the 3 jobs I've been asked to interview for, 2 of which I've turned down. The more recent one will need to be pursued further because: 1) It offers some professional autonomy, so no more "stop trying to be the PI" statements, 2) It pays about 30K more than I'm making now which on the outside seems like an advantage, but which is going to come with the unspoken rule of working 50+ hours/week, and 3) This position is at the job that brought me to metro DC 10 years ago. So I have a support system there which I've maintained throughout the 10 years I've lived here. But being a person of strong faith, I had to pray about it and I wasn't going to feel good about even officially applying until I felt God had spoken to me about what to do. This morning I got up, went to church where the pastor spoke about faith which was just what I needed. But when he also spoke about being careful of the company you keep, I felt like I had an answer to my question of whether or not to apply. The app will be submitted today, and I'll be meeting with my contact at this gig sometime this upcoming week.

Moving on to other things, my MCAT score is supposed to be released either Monday or Tuesday and at this point, I'm so not focused on it. Not because I think I aced it because I don't, but because whatever it is, it is. What I am a little worried about is that my score is going to have some crazy spread like, 13(VR), 9(BS), 8(PS) which if that turns out to be the case, I'd have to seriously consider retaking that beast again in Jan of next year given my goal of MD/PhD. I also think I have a good take on the timeline I'm shooting for with applying, so right now I thinking summer 2012 may be the best personal fit.

Speaking of personal, my kid is finally back on track in school with her grades. She also finally won her first games in tennis this season, so while I don't have plans to book seats at the US open in 2014, I think a tennis scholarship to college might be reality one day. I also purchased my first SUV which my sister affectionately calls a station wagon for Moms, but whatever, I'm very involved with my kid's tennis team so more space is just what we both needed. And contrary to her opinion of it, I've got a V8 under the hood along with luxury features, so your everyday minivan type vehicle it is NOT, LOL!! And it's so much fun to drive!!

Well I guess that just about sums up recent happenings in my life, so I'd like to leave you with my favorite excerpt from Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement speech in 2005: "Stay foolish. Stay hungry", which is not very hard to do when you're a 40 something year old premed!!

Have a great week! :)